In the space it took for
Me to strip you from the
Unexceptional moments
Of my every day, I had already
Broken
=
My fists are still scarred
From cradling your bony
Heart, the cave I made to
Hold you is collapsed now, it
Was collapsing then, you too
Were broken by the inflexibility of
My own hands, by those changes
That I, as stone could not make
=
As drones we circled those
Vows, that viciously binding
Ultimately strangled the identities
Of our separate beings. Without
You, I am nothing, and together we
Are exsanguinous, 6 feet under and
Too weak to struggle. This is my
Curse to kill what I love through
The continuous destruction of self
=
Love became a chant held too
Long in the mouth, so bitterly
Repeated in the hostile sterility
Of a choleric womb that we soured
And ultimately hardened against
Exchange, and we as masonry were
Built in the idealization of loyalty, as
A prison, the both of us crooks
The both of us stealing and withholding
=
In your absence I have seen the sun
Without your cumulus cast upon it
I have felt the rain not as the fire of
An indefensible guilt but as the
Cleansing of a necessary release, yet
My bones still remember the cancer,
The ache of your cells clenched and
Malignant in the indentations. Even on
Good days I miss you, but to take you back
Would be to assume the anaerobic pressure
Of over 4 tons of tightly packed earth
=
(Phew these are really tough for me trying to fit another’s vocabulary into my own work everyone is so masterful, me I am just a sloppy novice haha)
This submission is for
mindlovemisery 