Your neck is like a mandolin string
Poised with willful concavity. Beneath
Your notice, I suffer, not even the
Company of your disdain, omitted
Perhaps by shear proximity as your
Eyes never settle below the stars
=
In time, my mercurial heart will misplace
These moments, which now seem so imminent,
And this half love that rages through neglect
Will for lack of breath dwindle, as our youth
To will submit, to the implacable metronome
=
One day, when you are carefully sequestered in
Yearbook superlatives, I will point you out
Casually, without euphemising affection
Or straying bitterness, as someone, who in
Truth I never really knew but with whom
Proximity forced me superficially acquainted
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(This is fictional but the type of fiction for which I think some of us can relate. At least I have had unrequited crushes and looking back years later I realize that I didn’t really know the person anymore than they did me. I want to update everyone on the health situation the last two days I was in intense physical pain I found no relief with medication for either my pain or fever. I finally went to the emergency room yesterday and I was there most of the day hence I wasn’t responding. They did a battery of tests I had 4 vials and 4 bottles of blood drawn, a lung x-ray, and they did something truly awful to my nose that I don’t want to speak about haha I have a very hard time giving blood so I can’t donate even and they really really struggled to get the blood so I am positively covered in needle holes they had to give up on the IV even though I needed it. My resting pulse right now is 155 (usually 55), my blood pressure is 148/90 (usually 100/60) I have had a fever for days still do actually. As you know I went to the doctor a few days ago I waited a long time to go and they wrote me off as having a virus whatever is going around but turns out that I have a bacterial infection that is attacking my lungs and joints and its been running rampant in my body for 10 days or so but because I have been sick so much this year I guess I was really weak. Anyways I now have antibiotics! They suggested I stay at the hospital but I just can’t stand the hospital so I am home. I took one of my pills so far I am really nauseous and right now just more miserable than I have ever felt. In a few days I might find out what the infection is. I will try to write and comment but if I do disappear you know its because I am sick)
mindlovemisery 