pop

My fingertips defenseless against a damp cheek

Surrender to your star-infused misery, it is better to

Suffer than defend against a transient mood. Better

To bend than to harden. Happiness creeps in through

The cracks, let not armor, perfect. Broken you still stand

Straighter than I do. Heroine of mine, committed to the

Constellations, freed the gravity of a weak man’s hesitations

I raise my eyes to meet yours. Of what use is it to question

My worth when you have chosen me of your own volition?

Of what use is it to resist a necessary entropy? To know

Divinity we have but to speak our truth and I will not

Falter in the face of my demons now that you’ve rendered

Them concrete, conquerable and I will not falter in the

Face of my angels now that your devotion has swept me

Into mercuriall skies that I might surpass expectation

=

The female heroine is the poem is my muse. I am a read/write learner no surprise there! Everything I know about myself has mostly been discovered through my poetry. Thanks to the Dyslexia Epilepsy creates I have to proofread several times (if I posted an unedited poem there would be times it would be complete gibberish, I don’t alter the messages it is just fixing misspellings or wonky word replacements sometimes I will write easel when I mean peninsula lol) and in my readings I often learn something about myself or find little messages my muse tossed in on the sly. When I say of what use is it to question my worth when you have chosen me I believe this applies to all relationships if you are honest about who you are (and it is harder to be dishonest than you think when a person is really invested in knowing you, my husband knows even the things I hide from myself) and the person wants to be with you it is a privilege don’t insult them by making or forcing decisions on them. When they compliment you know that no matter how feel about yourself that their words are genuine. Once you accept the love people are offering you will stop demanding proof and ego placations. You have seen real pictures of me without makeup and I liked how one of my eyes is dark compared to other which shows my duality. Also I look psycho. Still no sleep the neighbors had a party =(

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25 thoughts on “Heroine

  1. as difficult as that surely is, it is pretty cool too…love that you have embraced it to where you just correct the spelling…and find little messages to yourself from the muse….very cool….

  2. your hues of perception, as they change gives the reader much to consider. High flight, only to crash, only to rise into flight once again! Your poetry demands the attention of a sharp mind, which mine, sadly is not always, but just the same, I do enjoy reading your colorful poetry!

    1. I don’t know if I would call myself sharp haha but we all have unique ways of perceiving the world and using language, there are times I read a poem and feel that I am missing some of the intended message, sometimes a reread or reading the comments helps clarify, sometimes I never feel satisfied that I digested the full poem. Thank you so much Scott =)

  3. your poetry always takes me to places in my own world…it talks to my mind and pokes at little places deep inside me…I enjoyed your description of the edit…I too, “try to get it right” but rarely do I go and read a piece I have written and published and not groan…I found a few problems in “Boxing in the Dark”…after you had read it…groan…I always refer to my editing as “picking up dog poop”…no matter how many time I go over the yard I always miss a pile…

    1. My edits don’t always succeed, one of the poems I posted to Carbon Noise Poetry has a section that doesn’t man any sense at all but I can’t remember what I meant so say, it is an older one so maybe no one reads it anymore lol That is a fabulous analogy Grizz! Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments =)

  4. I loved the poem and it’s lovely to finally see a picture of you.
    This line really stood out for me:
    “I will not falter in the face of my demons now that youโ€™ve rendered
    Them concrete, conquerable”
    This is a poem that will linger, a poem that I will recall and ponder for a few days. xox

  5. I like the ideas you talk about hear. I never really thought of just writing with censor to see what I can learn about myself. this is a good idea. I have dyslexia and dysnomia along with an extremely brutish internal editor that makes it hard to write sometimes. Timed writing helps loosen things up.

    1. I drive myself crazy over editing as well. I am only bothered by my own errors though not other peoples. Forget numbers it takes me 20 minutes sometimes to get past a captcha I hate them!!

  6. Muses can be double-edged swords: inspiring and conspiring. Lately, I’ve been doing what you describe more often — thinking one word and writing a completely different one!
    And, my brain can fool me into thinking that the wrong word is actually the right one!
    Great prompt!

    1. It is so hard to edit those mistakes later on when you’ve lost the train of thought! I have a few poems I have no idea what I meant to say lol I hate when I post thinking it said one thing and it’s complete gibberish

      1. So, far, nothing I’ve read on your blog has been gibberish!
        When I go back and look at something I’ve published (for a link, a title, etc), I often cringe at the very obvious mistakes I’ve not seen!
        And, then there are the literally 100s of embryonic to fully fledged posts that fill up files on my computer and will probably never see the publish button.
        So, my self-editor joins my muse at the spa retreats.

      2. I have been looking back to find poems for my book and I see a lot of mistakes and sometimes repetitions. I get in a bit of loop sometimes. Speaking of loops I once talked for 6 hours about the same thing!!! It didn’t really make sense and after I feel fast asleep I don’t know if it was exhaustion a seizure or a combination for it was the weirdest thing my husband has ever seen. He couldn’t get my attention at all I wasn’t really talking to him just rambling

  7. Love this! I’ve just read through three times..it really resonates so I had to linger awhile and savor it. Also I love your picture, your eyes are fabulous… gives you an added mystique does not look psycho at all!

    1. Awwww thank you so much Melanie! My eyes aren’t different colors but in this photo they showed up totally differently. It may be the seizure thing sometimes one of my pupils gets really big and the other doesn’t, might have messed with the light. My eyes do change colors though so sometimes they probably don’t match lol

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