My eyelids sag like melting wax,
I can’t remember the last time we slept,
just the two of us, without any stress.
I listen to you struggling the whole night
and in your head I reckon there are battalions
ready to fire at the first sign of peace.
I am acquainted with departure.
From the ether I pull another thread
and cut it to the quick
with the hope that it will later calcify.
Nostalgia demands that I
surrender my blood in pursuit.
I am intimate with betrayal.
My heart is more bone than flesh.
For every truth I have told
there is a lie just as big.
I kick at stones with a broken shoe.
I wonder if I’ll die prematurely
and I wonder if there ever comes
a time when through is through.
The street is lined with my castoffs,
Masks for the weekends,
uniforms for the week.
There are more revenants here
than there are graves to express.
The world is always
10 steps ahead.
I take a cleansing breath
it stutters on the way out
like a dream that won’t relent.
How can I go on day after day
being human when I’ve lost my taste for it?