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Guilt predates my experience of failure

I is worthless even when chanted in unison

There’s no excusing oneself from the universe

Even in death we surreptitiously return

Birds passing from one landscape

Into the hormonal flush of a nascent sky


I am in dire need of alternative

A lattice work trellis poised for admission

Yet all I find are locked casements

That shelter abandoned rooms

Not worth the risk of trespass


I’ve banished hope

In order to override denial

The dragons are free

The hero being

Just another vandal

Distributing loveless letters

To passing strangers

Pleading for that which she

Most fears, freedom


Today’s poem is very personal


29 thoughts on “Banished

  1. I am drawn to the idea of freedom as something to fear. I have the opposite reaction in terms of what it means to me. I like the notion of not being able to excuse oneself from the universe we are a part of it in what place we live and how we live. That you have titled this poem Banished or if you were Shakespearean they would say Banish ed sets in my mind the thought that you maybe see yourself as banished from life though I would think this is not true. Banished hope to over ride denial is a powerful image, hmmm……excellent poem with so much riding on it Yves, sorry if I fumble with this but I see so much that could be discussed, as I sometimes say, round a coffee table. That you state it is personal adds another dimension to it.

    1. With more freedom comes greater responsibility, more obligations and such. As children our parents seem to be able to do whatever they want as adults we know that that is far from true. We have to work hard to earn our rewards and sometimes we get our priorities crossed and work for the wrong things. There is also a number of studies that say people are more depressed when they have more choices. This has a lot to do with trying to accept responsibilities and take scary leaps into a very uncertain future.

      1. This is so true i agree with you about freedom. You make an excellent point about the difference between our parents, especially mine as there is far more scrutiny of behaviour now than ever before. That is an interesting point about choices. I would not have thought that. I would have thought lack of choice would have resulted in more depression, then again with little choice you know where you are. I hope my response didn’t upset you, I am glad you have responded as you have as I feel a little more understanding of your poem.

      2. Oh no not all I was actually glad you felt as you did because it implied that you have confidence in yourself which is a wonderful thing. I wish I embraced freedom as you do with open arms that is a sign of independence. I found it odd as well but the wealthy are not generally happy they have everything we think a person could want and oft they feel lonely and disillusioned there are so many paradoxes in this world

      3. Oh yes so true Yves, there are many millionaires who are on anti depressants. There are also plenty of poorer people very happy and content with what they have. My point about freedom had to do with being in a oppressive marriage for so long that the sacrifices I made to achieve divorce and a single life made freedom priceless as far as I was concerned. My life is not perfect but it’s a lot better than before. You take care.

    1. hugs right now I want to publish my book and do something about my housing situation. Generally my goals are lofty and philosophical but at the moment they are pretty concrete. I am a little overwhelmed with it all

      1. I am sorry to read you are overwhelmed. I hope you are able to reach your goals and find peace.
        Take it one day at a time and be not one who pressures yourself too much. In the grand scheme of things it is the simple life that is best.

        As for the housing…sometimes it is best to just cut our losses and run from the problems. Maybe.

  2. From the love song -Me and Bobby McGee- “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose” and “I’d trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday of holding bobby’s body next to mine” If I’m reading you right, you fear freedom in the same way that I fear it. It’s really loneliness that you fear. Lose your fear of loneliness and your fear of freedom goes too.

      1. I haven’t completely overcome my fear of loneliness, but over the past few years I’ve learned to embrace the spirit of the hawk within me and that helps a lot. The hawk is one of the fiercest of all the hunters and soars on the wind. The hawk hunts alone. Finally once the hawk takes a mate it is forever and if one of the couple dies the it is said dies shortly thereafter of a heart that is broken. I now consider myself a fierce solo warrior and once I find my mate it will be that way for me too.

      2. That is a very beautiful thought =) I’ve already told the husband we have to die at the same time happy and peacefully in our sleep. I want to live long enough to have been married 100 years which means we need to live till 119 and some months haha

  3. A very complex landscape of layered powerfull images, such as this part:’Birds passing from one landscape

    Into the hormonal flush of a nascent sky” Amazing writing, as always!

  4. Yup, this got under my skin today.

    There are times when I feel I have no choices at all, and that paralyses me. There are also times when I feel I have more choices than days to sort through them all. That paralyses me too.

    I’m kinda tired of feeling overwhelmed by nothing and everything, if that makes sense. I think I need to start drawing again.

    You have clearly got some choices to sort through too, and it can’t have been easy to share, so thank you for your thought provoking words. I really do wish you all the best as you try to figure it all out.

  5. “Guilt predates my experience of failure
    I is worthless even when chanted in unison
    There’s no excusing oneself from the universe
    Even in death we surreptitiously return
    Birds passing from one landscape
    Into the hormonal flush of a nascent sky”

    Such powerful lines.

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