Music Prompt #12 and A, B, C, easy as 1, 2, 3

A hush falls over my malingering bones

Between the sheets and the aftermath,

Clumsiness rears it’s unsightly head.

Down is the only direction that I have

Ever known, there is no escaping

Falls taken in the name of allegiance.

Good girls never abandon their lessons.

How I long to be courageous,

Independent and idealistic.

Justice has little to do with the trials of men.

Know that I never stopped struggling,

Love was the source of all

My apologies and in the end there is

Nothing more or less than

Our own willingness to live.

Passion has carried me through the

Quick and the quintessential.

Resolve is everything in world that

Suspects everyone, in a world

That screams out for genius but

Understands nothing of ipseity.

Virtue is for those who haven’t become jaded

Whatever the circumstances spent to dissuade them.

Xenolithic, I droop by the water’s edge

Yearning for a friend who understands.

Zero is the only cipher deep enough to contain me.

*

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/music-prompt-12-clumsy-performed-by-our-lady-peace/

OctPoWriMo

It was tough going from A-Z and simultaneously trying to incorporate this awesome song!!! On another note I have 5 tests this week. I am taking the National Prov. If I pass I will complete SFI (Swedish for immigrants). I am extremely nervous. If I pass this will be a major accomplishment for me personally as I started it many years ago but left because of physical and mental illness. If I do not pass I will continue on until December and try again. I had my spoken interview today. It did not go as well as I hoped. SFI is the first program, it has 4 levels. After SFI there is SVA. SVA has majors so to speak. I am not sure which majors are available, certainly not all, but it is far more intensive.

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Zero

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Davide Franceshini@DeviantArt

I know I don’t generally post things like this but this video really touched me. I was supposed to go to the school today and register for Swedish classes but life had other ideas. Isadora and I were invited to go swimming at a lake so that’s what we did. I haven’t been swimming much since I moved to Sweden, which is a shame given how much I love water. If you read my companion blog Curious Flowers you’d know that I have put on some weight. I wasn’t feeling the whole half-naked thing and my extreme self-consciousness is probably why I haven’t used the nearby public pool.
Anyways I bought my swimsuit when I was very thin. The top was too small. I had to dig in the basement for a second suit, a suit I bought years ago when I was a a little more curvaceous. The top was too big. Without a properly fitting top I knew very well what would happen when Isadora started to jump and climb all over me. I have no problem with nudity but my own offends me terribly. I didn’t have time to purchase a suit and even if I had there are almost none left. So I wore a pair of female swim trunks and an ultra supportive black sports bra. My breasts weren’t going anywhere and absolutely no one was going to accuse me of being sexy haha

Zero

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Anton Semenov

A rage both impossible and irresolute

I have no credence to my favor

No leniency in which to stash my fangs

I am wronged by my own wrongness

A hypochondriac devoted to anomaly

A portrait for each asylum, a zero, a space

Essential to calculation but itself meager

 

My guilt is not simply for show

It is an occupation by which I rend

My heart as if it were a hymen

In the incidentals of a precocious terror

I am a paper moon cast in admonishment

A one-dimensional puppet leaping

From mirror to mirror in search of a face,

A visage less pained to occupy my vanity