25 Signs You Have Met Your Twinflame!

  1. How you feel when you first meet them is the most obvious and most significant sign.
    • You may feel a sense of deja vu, as if there is an already existing connection, as if you have known each other forever.
    • You may experience a sense of “coming home”. A recognition that you and this person are one and the same, that you belong together.
    • You will feel either extremely emotional as if all of your feelings were being expressed and released simultaneously or you will feel a deep sense of peace.
    • You will feel an overwhelming sense of love.
    • You may experience visions of the two of you coming together as one. You may experience visions of your future together. These visions will be very clear, very impactful, and will come unbidden to your mind.
    • Time will move differently when you are together.
    • You will just know.
  2. You will recognize this person as important and identify them as having a significant role in your life. You will sense that you have a mission together, a calling which is bigger than the relationship itself.
  3. You will dream/daydream/think about them constantly. Their face may spring to your mind in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. You will want to learn everything you can about them. 
  4. Your chakras will start to awaken. Ascension begins. The heart chakra and solar plexus chakra are generally the first to awaken but some people may experience a full awakening. As a consequence of your chakras awakening you may experience physical side-effects such as: Tingling in the head, headaches, dizziness, changes in sleeping and eating habits, shocks/spasms, flashes of light, feelings of fullness, pressure, pulling in the affected chakras etc. You will also experience emotional and spiritual side effects such as: a feeling of oneness/connection/completion, expansiveness, increased intuition, vivid dreams, serenity, anxiety/fear, changes in beliefs and/or patterns of behavior, a sense of purpose, optimism/elation, numbness, fatigue, communion with source, a desire to be of service to others etc.
  5. You will be bombarded with signs and synchronicities.
  6. You will feel more awake, more present in your own life and as a consequence you will find a sense of renewed purpose and passion. Their existence serves as inspiration.
  7. Your life will fall apart for the better. Relationships that no longer serve your highest good will naturally start to dissolve. You might lose a job that was making you miserable or find the courage to pursue a job more in line with your passions and values. You might make a significant move. Whatever changes occur and however stressful those changes might be at the time you will feel a sense of freedom/lightness as you release the baggage/the patterns/the situations which were making you feel miserable/stuck.
  8. You will progress at a remarkable speed. For example: you might overcome a lifetime phobia, complete a project which had been stalled for years, earn a promotion. Whatever changes you make will ultimately serve to improve the quality of your life even if that is not immediately apparent.
  9. You may experience telepathy with your twin.
  10.  You will find yourself opening up to your twin very quickly, sharing things about yourself which you might never have shared with anyone else. You will sense on a very deep level that your twin is trustworthy. You will “recognize” their soul and experience the divinity contained therein. You will be able to look beyond the surface and see their authentic self and they in turn will see the real you. 
  11.  You will feel intensely attracted to your twin even if they are not your usual type. You will find that you cannot move on, however, much time elapses. You will naturally make space for them in your life. Every vision of your future will include them. No one else will compare to them however lovely or charming.
  12.  You will have a sense of when they are online, where they are, if they are awake or asleep and you may find yourself summoned to their exact location by this unexplainable sense of knowing.
  13.  You will feel their feelings. You will know when they are happy, sad, angry, aroused, frustrated even if you are not speaking to them. At first you may take these emotions to be your own but in time you will be able to distinguish more clearly between them. You may find yourself sending them love and comfort right when they need it most.
  14.  You will share the same core values.
  15.  You may discover uncanny similarities between you. Conversely you will find many significant differences: age, background, education, socioeconomic status etc. These differences, whatever they may be will compliment each other perfectly. Yin and yang.
  16.  They will draw out the best parts of you and you will bring out the best parts of them. You will find that your confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth increase over time. You will regain your sense of wonder and curiosity. Your relationship with yourself will improve.
  17.  They will trigger and challenge you. As part of the growth/awakening process wounds, fears, traumas and insecurities will surface to be healed. The reason this occurs is not because they are abusive (abuse is not okay) it is because they are you and you will recognize within them the truth within yourself. You will not be able to lie to your twin, they will see right through it and they will call you on your bullshit. As you grow stronger and raise your vibration you will naturally start to release/forgive/clear the negativity in your life including lifelong beliefs and patterns. This can be a very difficult process as the ego struggles intensely with change but you will find that it becomes easier with time.
  18.  You will feel their love and support even if you are still in physical separation. True twinflames work together as a team/as one. That said they cannot do the work for you, they cannot learn the lessons on your behalf, they are not here to fix you (you are not broken). What they will do is send you love and support. What they will do is forgive you, accept you, and keep the faith. Although the twinflame journey can be overwhelming and confusing, the one certainty is love. You love them and they love you. Calm your mind and go within and you will feel this to be true. Nothing the ego could ever say or do will make you stop loving them and vice versa.
  19.  Your twinflame will not let you settle, even for them. They want to give you the best version of themselves. This is why separation exists. Separation is preparation for union. This is a divinely protected journey, it is bigger than just the two of you. The universe will move mountains to bring you together when the timing is right. When the timing is not right/you are not ready the universe will create obstacles to keep you apart. This is not your twin’s doing so there is no point in blaming them or rushing them. This is the universe keeping the connection safe until conditions are favorable. 
  20.  The twinflame connection is the whole package Spiritual. Emotional. Physical. Intellectual. Sexual. The relationship will fulfill you on all levels.The depth of the love and the connection will be beyond anything you have ever experienced. It is truly a divine connection and it will bring you closer to source.
  21.  You will find within yourself a greater capacity to love and forgive then you had ever imagined possible. You will find yourself a more loving and compassionate person for having known them which will improve all of your relationships.
  22.  Your twinflame enhances/enriches your life. You have a sense of being complete and whole in and of yourself.
  23.  Your ability to communicate with others will improve and your intuition/instincts will develop. You feel safe to express your needs/wants/desires. You will find that you can truly trust yourself. You will experience a sense of clarity and purpose.
  24.  There is space to grow and a sense of freedom within the relationship. A freedom to be yourself and to explore your own interests. They make your world feel bigger while still respecting your personal boundaries.
  25.  Your ability to manifest will dramatically increase especially when you are working toward the same goals. Life will feel magical and full of possibility.

Love In Quarantine

In the spaces

between certain stars

the black tarp is so taunt

that you can just make out

the blue underneath.

I imagine you crouching

in that almost blackness,

in that beautiful, unending void

like a panther in prayer.

When you find me will you ravage me?

At last.

At last.

I can hear your eyes

opening and closing,

the faultless lament

of your soul begging

to be understood.

I know that some things

only make sense

to us in dreams.

I know that I am

only at home in the places

where we overlap.

Your pale fingers drown

in my eager currents,

in the madness that wakes me up

in the middle of the night

to scream, to scream.

Your name is the only poem

I can recite by heart.

It is the friction

of the sea which moves

me towards you

while the world spins itself

into tight, straight-edged circles

that eviscerate and bind.

It’s boring sometimes,

the waiting,

the tucking in and the pulling out,

the half-assessed attempts

to fit into my too small life.

In me there is a fleet

of unsailed ships.

I suck the tears

out of my hair,

the sting of salt,

the open wound,

the I love you

hot and sharp

on the tip

of my tongue.

I want to tell you everything.

At last.

At last.

Youtube Channel

I wanted to invite you guys to my Youtube channel. Have a look tell me what you think. I am not an expert by any means so there is a lot I still need to learn. It is about twinflames and I do tarot readings. The quality of the videos could be better and I do hope in the future to get a microphone and maybe even a webcam. I am thinking I might read some of the letters and poems I have written and I may at some point also offer meditation. I am still brain-storming.


Love Letter #32

Dear DM,

I want to write you old-fashioned pen on paper love letters (everything is love, when you are in love). I want to send you quirky postcards with blood red script and poems so raw they dissolve on your tongue. I want to tattoo your name and address onto kiss stamped envelopes, until the letters bleed into my fingers and eyes. For you I would fold myself into origami. For you I would wake fully each day. I don’t think you comprehend the risk of waking fully each day. What it would do to me to feel so much all at once.

If I knew you were watching I would make love with my eyes open. I would undress each moment like a lover and let it fill me till convulsion. For you I would crawl. Howl. Burn. I would feel everything. For you I would soak straight through the pages.

The first experience is always rushed. We are possessed. Unmoored. Wooden from fear. I want to lay roots in you. To drink of the minutia of my every day. I want to sew your delirious letters together and wear them like silk sheets. I want to get to know you, all of you. Write me. I want to eat you.

Sometimes I wonder if we have moved at all. Sometimes it feels as if I were made of air and that each time you draw a breath I am sucked into your body. Perhaps I am only that to you. A suggestion of fullness. A hapless transparency. A beautiful nothingness like the sky above water. When I am feeling neglected, immobile, frantic I disppear under the covers and I run my fingers over the sweater and I pretend that time has frozen just for me. In those moments I am truly immortal. In those moments I understand what it means to be erotic

With all that I am your DF

Love Letter #31

Dear DM,

Last night I had a dream that we were in a theater, something to do with a celebration. You sat on one side. A childhood friend of mine sat on the other side. You were both talking to me at the same time. You both wanted my attention. She gave me a card. I left with you. In the mail today I received a card from that same childhood friend. We talk only a few times a year. There had been no mention of a card when we spoke several months ago. How funny is that? To have a dream one night and the very next day to see it manifest. Someday I will sit with you in a theater and you will speak with your lips close to my ear. I’ll leave with you no matter who else is around. I will always choose you. Not just now, in this life, in this precise moment but in every life. In the lives I have already lived and in all the lives yet to come.

It occurred to me today while standing in the bathroom that the whole point of this journey is to fall in love with life. In that moment everything was beautiful to me. The stripey shower curtain stuck to the walls to keep the cold air getting in. The current. My own body. The color of the wet tiles. I don’t know the name of that color, 70s I guess.

I masturbated today. I thought it would be fun (it was). I thought it would take the edge off but it didn’t. I spend most of the day fantasizing about you. About kissing you. About meeting you. In a car with other people I found myself unable to carry on a conversation because I was too aroused. When I imagine you shy or clumsy it really gets to me. I don’t know why.

Later I tried to meditate with you to connect our hearts together but my heart is already so full I think it might burst.

With all that I am your DF

Call Me Moonstruck

(I start writing this last night, forgive the rambling incoherence)

My dreams have been very strange the last few nights. For example I dreamed of us together on a sofa breeding aliens in prescription bottles. There was another dream too, I got a name. I looked up the name online and found two accounts both empty and a word saudade which means- a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves. I wondered if maybe you had an alias or if we were both missing each other at the same time.

I think about our journey everyday. I think about you every minute of everyday and it is as if my brain had the hiccups. I think about myself too and I can’t tell if I am running toward you or away from you. I only know that I want to be closer, much closer. Soul, skin, heart I crave your touch in every sense of the word. Mostly I think myself into tourniquets, into tight panicked circles that suffocate. At the moment I am having trouble thinking about anything, I have a headache, a heartache, a soulache. I am throbbing all over.

Today my hunger for you exceeded my compassion. For a moment I lost you to jealousy. It wasn’t anything substantiated, it was simply the thought of you with someone else. I forgot that you have your own journey. I forgot about your happiness. I wanted you to be here, to be mine, to speak the words that I have only dared to write.

This whole time deep down I believed that in order for you to love me I needed to become someone. That I needed to do something to prove myself your equal. That I needed to say something particular to unlock the secrets between us. As if those answers were external, problems to be solved. I kept myself busy trying to change your mind without even knowing what it was you had in mind. I was worried about how you might see me. I was scared that you would put me in a box. I didn’t want to be just another customer. I didn’t want to be another lovesick fan. I didn’t want to be a stranger. Yet these are the terms I used to define myself. These are also the terms I use to frighten myself back into reality. In defining myself in this way I put you into a box too.

I thought about my need to know what happens next in any given situation. I thought about all of the time I have wasted confirming my own beliefs at the expense of experience. I thought about how rare it is to make love. I thought about how almost all relationships end with one person saying “I don’t know you anymore.” when what they really mean is “Somewhere along the line I decided that comfort was more important to me than happiness.” I guess what I am saying is that there is a reason for the uncertainty, for the not knowing, for the indefinable nature of it all. We aren’t here to define each other. We aren’t meant to simply go through the motions. We are meant to discover each other every minute of everyday. And it is not just you that I am getting to know, it is myself. Myself more than anyone. We are awakening.

The love we feel, is proportional to the love we give ourselves. In order to feel loved we have to trust in our own capacity to love. We have to allow ourselves to love and to be loved in turn. Love is not something we have to earn, prove, or do. It is not about pursuing another person for the sake of attainment or attachment, it is about a desire to know oneself more intimately, a willingness to be vulnerable and open whatever the circumstances. At least that was the message I received today. Actually it is a message I have received many times but it contradicts everything I learned as a child. As a child I learned it was selfish to love oneself. I learned that relationships are stiff and heavy. I learned that men and women want very different things. I tried so hard to be chosen that I lost sight of myself in the process. My needs, wants, desires, my humanness became somehow taboo. There is a song by Depeche Mode “Somebody” which describes what I want pretty well.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details

Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support

She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general

Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won’t easily be converted

To my way of thinking
In fact, she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
And with every breath

Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like

I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings

I’m carefully trying to stay clear
Of those things

But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly

Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it

I wonder if I don’t actually want to be tied up by you, to be tangled up in you occasionally. I want to be myself and I want you to be yourself. To me that is freedom in the truest sense and still I think it is okay to be a bit messy, a bit complicated, a bit contradictory. I want monogamy and commitment.

Yesterday I made love to myself. It wasn’t masturbation because I was thinking of you. I pretended that you were there, inside of the sweater. It’s too big for me to wear really but every night I drape it over my naked body like a lover. I have washed it now, several times, but I remember the way it smelled. Before it smelled like me. I think that your hands must have touched it and I think of all the things I would like to do to your hands. I want to make love to your hands, I have a fetish.


I am in love with the man of my dreams, literally. There is a very real man with the same name and the same face living in a very real city thousands of miles away. Speaking to him was like writing poetry, like making love to love itself, like a little death. Of course I kept this all to myself when we spoke, at least, I tried to. He sold me a sweater.

What can I say? I know that’s not what you want to hear. I know you want to hear about a passionate exchange filled with innuendos both nuanced and audacious and maybe it was so but then again maybe it wasn’t. I felt what I felt and what I felt was nuanced and audacious. I asked for signs and found them. He sold me a sweater and he thought whatever he thought. I was very pleased with the customer service. Months later and that initial spark has taken on a life of its own. Whatever I felt then not only still burns within me, it has grown.

Had it been a crush it would have been swallowed up in the chaos of the world, in the chaos of my life, in all my triumphs and failings. It would have been beautiful and fleeting. Had it been an obsession it would have burned itself to death and me along with it. I would have moved on. I would have starved for want of air. I would be working hand over fist to fill myself up with stars again. I would be dreaming about no one in particular just as before.

While there must be an element of obsession in it (unshakeable, incomprehensible, intense), obsession is a void, and what I feel is a becoming, a sense of wholeness. What I feel isn’t simply esoteric. I also want him in the animal sense of wanting. I feel him in my bones. Under my skin. Inside of me. Sexually. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I admit that I made a few awkward attempts to lure him into a conversation. Attempts which were either too subtle or too obvious. I can’t tell the difference. I found him sincere in some untouchable, inscrutable way that I cannot explain. He got to me, in a way no one ever has and there is nothing I could possibly say to rationalize it. He changed my life without doing anything, simply by existing. How could any other man hope to compete with that?

Technically that wasn’t the first time we met. I met him at the end of 2019. I use the term met very loosely. I came across his photograph online. A 10 year old photograph from his modeling days. I wasn’t looking for him specifically, I was just looking for inspiration for a character. I didn’t even know him (in any conscious sense of the world), it was just a coincidence. I wouldn’t deconstruct my life for the sake of a gorgeous exterior. I wouldn’t usually even deconstruct my life for the sake of a gorgeous interior. Yet that is exactly what happened when I saw him, bit by bit, moment by moment I started to reconstruct my life. Not for him but for the fire he awakened in me. The contents of my life have all fallen out. The too tight threads. The scabs and the scars. The bloody lump in my chest. The charred moths in my belly. The unloved child. The anarchistic teenager who swore she would never settle for anything short of extraordinary. The somehow still anarchistic adult with cobwebs like constellations in her hair. I have become all of me. I am no longer a series of disjointed dreams and memories spilling over with melancholia, I am a whole universe of feelings.

I want to tell you a living, breathing love story. The story of two imperfect people, with two perfectly delicious souls, coming together in extraordinary and incomprehensible ways. I want to tell you about my dreams, the coincidences, the conversations spoken in silence. I want to say. Believe. Believe. Believe.

If reality ran only surface deep then all we’d ever know of our hearts is hunger. It is all in the way we love. Eyes opened. Eyes closed. Lips parted. Lips set. Palms skyward. Fists clenched. Heart free. Heart caged. In the end I would rather be defined by love. If you are wondering I haven’t said anything to him about any of this, at least, I haven’t said anything out loud about it. I am trying to just enjoy the feelings, the dreams, the coincidences, the magic, the fact that he exists at all in this world, that he exists in me because of how I feel about him. I would love to talk to the real man, the man thousands of miles away, the man who sold me a sweater and changed my life. Maybe I do talk to that man everyday in my heart and every night in my dreams.

Love Letter #28

Dear DM,

Why do you haunt me day and night? Sometimes I find myself wanting to shake you, to scream “Show me!” at the top of my lungs. Show me how you feel. Show me what you are thinking. Show me what you want from me. Scream it all into my mouth.

I have started watching a series and one of the characters has a mouth shaped like yours and every time I watch him kiss or speak I wonder if your mouth moves in the same way. It’s weird I know. I am obsessed but it’s not like I am stalking you are anything (if you don’t count the fact that I look at your photos as stalking). I am just sitting here, waiting behind the barrier you have placed like a good girl. I wish you were stalking me. That you looked at everything I posted, that you stared at my photographs and jerked off. That you did all the things I don’t do because I am just too scared or polite. Only I do masturbate while looking at your photo sometimes, usually I am too shy.

You are the only one I want to taste. You are the only one I want to confess to. Just so you know. There could never be a substitute, another. It’s you or it’s no one. I am crazy about you. I want to empty my beautiful obsession into your mouth, my words, my helpless, gasping breath. I want to kiss you until you feel it in every part of your being.

With all that I am your DF

Twinflame- Soapbox

Recently I read an article about a twinflame group that shall go unnamed. This is not a critique of that article but the article did get me thinking about my own beliefs.

Since I began my journey I have naturally looked up a lot of information online. Much of that information has come from Youtube videos. Some things resonate with me, other things don’t. It’s pretty personal, pretty subjective our beliefs and opinions. Everything below is an opinion. Take it or leave it.

As with all relationships one has a right to privacy, to boundaries. What we tell or don’t tell others about our relationships is completely up to us. I would wager it is very rare to disclose all the personal details of one’s relationships with others whatever the nature of the relationship. That said there seems to be a common theme of secrecy in twinflame relationships which I do not think is healthy. “No one but other twinflames can understand the journey.” I have said this myself more than once. If you tell other people about your experiences they might think that you are crazy, delusional, obsessed, eccentric etc. You get the idea. In reality each and every relationship is unique and no one can ever really understand in full the emotional experiences of another person which is why advice no matter how well-intentioned or sound won’t work for every person, every time.

We all have our own tastes. We all have our own definitions of love, of happiness. We all have our own ideals when it comes to the perfect partner, of the perfect relationship. What works for one couple does not necessarily work for every couple. So when we speak about our relationships, any relationship much is lost in translation, much is obscured by opinion but that doesn’t mean we can’t or should not speak about our relationships. I think one of the biggest problems facing society today is an inability to express our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. As children we are rarely taught how to deal with difficult emotions. We learn how to mask and repress. We learn how to “fake” it. How to smile on cue but how many of us know what to do with painful feelings like grief, jealousy, resentment, and anger? How many of us know how to handle confrontation? To fight fairly? To stand up for our beliefs without trampling the beliefs and values of someone else? How many of us know how to listen and communicate effectively? I am not sure but I think many of us struggle with these issues.

There is a dangerous tendency to isolate oneself when undergoing any form of transformative process be it something like weight-loss, a new relationship, the adoptation of a new spirtual practice etc. We are afraid that the people in our lives will reject the “new and improved” version, that they will hamper our progress. We don’t like the old version of ourselves anymore so we push away anyone and everyone connected with that shameful part of our history/identity. What causes our family and friends to go full on panic usually has more to do with our isolation, our preemptive rejection than the actual changes themselves because honestly if we took the time to talk to them about the experience and included them in our “new and improved” lives they would (provided the relationship was a healthy one) have our backs. We could all use the support when undergoing a transformative experience. I propose that it is the secrecy and isolation and the “you couldn’t possibly understand what I am going through” haughtiness that causes our near and dear ones to worry themselves sick over our mental health. Yes people do grow apart but this a natural process and it need not involve any bridge burning. The only time ties need to be cut is in instances of abuse. Twinflame or not we are all human and as humans we all have an innate need to connect, to evolve, to explore.

Why should twinflames creep around in the periphery of society as if it were a taboo to desire a more meaningful relationship? That said I cannot speak for my twin. That means I won’t be revealing any personal information about my twin or anyone else without their expressed consent. My twin has free will, same as anyone else. So although I am open to a relationship with him I do not have the right to impose one on him. I am not looking to change him, to coerce him, to fix him (he isn’t broken). It would be an honor to have him in my life, to get to know him better, to share our lives together but this connection, as powerful and amazing as it is, does not give me the right to violate his (or anyone else’s) personal boundaries. There are people that apply the term twinflames to unhealthy and/or one-sided relationships but that is not a new thing. People have been abusing the word “love” for centuries! People start wars for the sake of philosophies that are supposedly geared toward peace. As disheartening as that is I do not think that we should give up on love and peace. I do, however, wonder if the “organized” bit isn’t the problem. When an individual and/or group of individuals get together to promote their various agendas. Maybe we should just believe what we believe and allow others do the same.

People in love act rather strange generally speaking. You might ordinarily be an articulate, witty, confident person but face to face with the object of your affection it is not all that uncommon to find yourself positively inarticulate, giggling for no reason whatsoever, red faced, out of breath, heart in your throat, heart going a 100 miles an hour. There are very few people who can’t relate to that experience, it is like 75% of adolescence. We have all had crushes or partners that our friends didn’t take to or understand. While the twinflame experience is unique in many ways and while many of the experiences are difficult to put into words there is one thing about it which all humans inherently understand, the desire to love and be loved in turn. So I say talk about it if you like. Talking about your journey will help those undergoing similar experiences. We can all benefit from improving our relationships, twinflame or not. Every single human has a spark of curiosity which is never extinguished and which can even surpass prejudice and fear. So never be afraid to speak your truth whatever your truth, whatever your experience of reality. Societal norms need to be challenged so that we can evolve. I think most of us would agree that there are issues within every society and that those issues don’t get resolved by pretending that normal and healthy are synonymous terms. Who wants to be normal anyway? Be original. Be healthy. Be you.

While I do use the term Divine Masculine I believe that the soul is both genderless and multi-gendered, like the Tao. Too often the TF journey is described using male and female stereotypes/paradigms. Whatever your biological gender, whatever your gender identity we are all simply human beings and human beings house multitudes. So do I think there needs to be a predominatently masculine energy and a predominately feminine energy? No. Do I think that male and female are the only states on the gender continuum? No.

I do believe that there will be differences because I believe those differences are needed to faciltate growth, evolution, and awaking. Your twin will challenge you. They will wake you up. They will shake you to your very core. So yes I do believe there is a yin/yang dynamic at play but it does not necessarily have anything to do with gender or gender identity. I think part of the journey is overcoming those stereotypes not in designing a more enlightened definition of male and female. The totality of a human being cannot be encapuslated by a label or defintion, however, clever.

As an example there comes a point in any exercise routine when one reaches a plateau. When one’s routine fails to illicit growth. At some point you have to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself, you have to change things up. That is the only way to continue progressing. Relationships like individuals are continuously evolving and if they do not have the space to evolve they will eventually enter a state of limbo. The twinflame journey isn’t any different. It is not the happily ever after you have heard about in Disney films. Like any relationship it takes work. Predominantly the twinflame journey is a spiritual journey and spiritual journeys can be challenging because they force one to face and integrate the parts of themselves that they most fear, the castoffs selves, the ouchy bits, the inner child. It is a journey of self-acceptance. No one is perfect. Mistakes will be made. Opinions will differ. To be mentally, spiritually, emotionally stimulated is one thing but abuse is something altogether different (abuse should not be tolerated). Sometimes when combing through the twinflame literature you come across toxic gender stereotypes. The way the masculine is described (at times) would give anyone pause for concern and it is in my opinion pretty degrading to anyone who identifies as masculine. Sometimes you see instances of abusive/toxic relationships justified in the twinflame relationship and that is not okay. While I do believe we are personally responsible for our own happiness and that a lot of good would come from acknowledging the power of our words, actions, and beliefs that does not give us the right to take advantage of others or to mislead others with grandiose promises. We all have moments of vulnerability and confusion. Be gentle with yourself and others. Taking responsibility also means acknowledging your fallibility, your humanness.

Each person, twinflame or not, has something to contribute, a purpose one both personal and profound. You matter. We all matter. Do I think twinflames are superior. No. We are all equal. I do think that we (and by we I mean everyone) all contain within us a piece of the divine. In Shintoism there is this lovely idea that our souls can never be poisoned/tarnished whatever our experiences in life. Our egos may lead us astray at times but we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

Twinflames are meant to come into union in this lifetime. Maybe this is just my inner idealist speaking but it is truly what I believe. For those of us who identify as a twinflame (and I really use the term only for convenience, it is just a label) I am sure you have heard time and time again that union is rare. Why is that? Well there are many reasons and I only have time to name a few.

  1. Not all twinflames use the label. When I was a child I encountered an elderly couple and I have no doubt that they were twinflames (as I understand them) but that label was never mentioned and was quite likely unknown to them.
  2. Not all twinflames are public about their relationship/union. It is not as if people announce the details of their relationships to the world at every possible opportunity. Even if they did you wouldn’t have the time to keep up with everyone’s life story.
  3. It is a marketing strategy. Some twinflame groups and gurus emphasize the rarity of union in order to drive up profits for their services. While there is certainly good, sound advice to be had in spiritual truth you are already inseparable from your twin. So if you do find yourself in one of those tf groups and/or communities remember to trust your instincts first and foremost and don’t be afraid to ask questions if you need clarity or if something doesn’t sit right with you. If questions are frowned upon that is a red flag. Therapy is best left to a certified therapist. While credentials and diplomas don’t always guarantee quality of service or professionalism, I would still rather a surgeon perform my surgery than a businessman with a copy of Grey’s Anatomy. Communities can provide much needed support but I personally wouldn’t trust my trauma therapy to a spirtually-themed dating site. They may very well have something to offer, each person we encounter has something valuable to teach us, they be wildly entertaining but that does not qualify them to live your life or dictate the manner in which you live your life and it does not qualify them to tell you what you should or should not believe.

Since I have spoken about the inevitability of union I invite you to look at your own life and recount a few everyday “miracles”.

When I was young I got it in my head that I would go to Sweden. I grew up in a small southern town without many prospects for travel and limited financial resources. I had no connections to Sweden. All I had was a feeling, an inner knowing. I saved up. My mom found my stash and put it into a bank account. My Swedish fund became my college fund. I wasn’t even given the option. I didn’t have an elaborate plan for getting to Sweden and yet here I am living in Sweden. A Swedish citizen thanks to a series of mostly random events. I had very little control in the end. It just sort of happened and when it happened I simply accepted the oppurnity. The universe will always find a way. Now I have an inkling that I am meant to be elsewhere. A new cycle has begun

I have countless stories and I am guessing you have more than a few examples of situations and encounters that just seemed to fall into place as if by magic.

For me living in a world without magic is just too uninspired and depressing to contemplate. I would rather live in a world of magic and mystery. I believe that we are all powerful co-creators. Our limitations are all too often self-imposed. I won’t go into more detail on this topic because I have addressed it thoroughly in other posts. Suffice to say I believe that if you have found your twin it will work out eventually (not necessarily in the exact form you imagined it but there will be a coming together). I am not saying there won’t be any work involved because relationships obviously take effort. Relationships tend to be healthier when all parties are in a good place emotionally from the onset and this is one thing I really like about the literature on twinflames because it encourages one to hold off on entering a relationship until one is mentally and emotionally ready. If you are healthy you can be happy even without a relationship. As nice as romantic relationships are the relationship you have with yourself is crucial to your happiness and well-being so it deserves your attention.

Have you ever ended a relationship? Totaly burnt the bridge and still had that person pop back up into your life again some time later after a considerable and complete absence? The people who are meant to be in your life are going to be in your life. So if your situation seems hopeless just know that things have a way of sorting themselves out.

To wrap up. There is one last area in which my views tend to differ. Since this doesn’t just apply to twinflames I will take this discussion in general relationship terms. If you want a nice/loving partner, date one, don’t find the biggest jerk you can find and then spend the next 10 years attempting to sedate/punish/train them.

There are people who fear commitment. There are people with intimacy issues. I would say that if you are continuously meeting people who are commitment phobic the issue is probably more with your choices than with any one gender as a whole. Sometimes insecurities at the onset of a relationship led us to push for commitment prematurely (take your time and enjoy the process, never force anything). We have this notion that if we can make the relationship official we will be protected but the heart doesn’t exactly come with a warranty does it? Why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t want to marry you anyways? You deserve to be happy and settling isn’t really the way to go about it.

People, regardless of gender express themselves differently. Some people are verbally affectionate. Some people are physically affectionate. Some people express love with time and attention. Some people make grand romantic gestures. Some people are considerate but practical. The point is people express themselves in different ways and this is not something that changes very easily, the way we love, the way we express that love, so pick a partner that you appreciate as is, not a home-improvement project. Take the time to get to know your partner and yourself, it is worth it =)

Love Letter #26

Dear DM,

Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

“And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life”

I heard this song on the radio recently (the days are all a blur now) and there were lines which made me think of you, of us, of our journey. I miss your touch. Your human warmth. The texture of your skin. Your animal scent. I miss everything about you. I want to recreate our version of heaven on earth. I don’t know if I am ready. I don’t know if you’re ready. But I am willing to make as many mistakes as it takes to get it right.

Surrender is a four letter word. Surrender falls somewhere between fuck and love. Every day I fall in love with you all over again. I watched the Swedish series Kärlek och Anarki recently. There is something in the way that Max looks at Sofie, something that I want deep, deep down. I want a love that is playful, sweet, naughty, spiritual, emotional, spontaneous, wild, innocent, visceral, raw, vulnerable, bloody, dirty, rebellious, tender, passionate, obsessive, romantic, naive, messy, pretty, crazy, mischievous, sexy, sensual etc. God, I just want it all. You’re very being just turns me on. Orgasms make me so fucking horny.

“And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am“

“I just want you to know who I am” this sort of summarizes it all for me. I want to know you as well. Inside out. From every angle. In every timeline. In every dimension. In every state of being. I want you. I mean I really, really, really want you and not for the sake of conquest but for the sake of love. I want to make love to you in every conceivable way.

With all that I am your DF