Youtube Channel

I wanted to invite you guys to my Youtube channel. Have a look tell me what you think. I am not an expert by any means so there is a lot I still need to learn. It is about twinflames and I do tarot readings. The quality of the videos could be better and I do hope in the future to get a microphone and maybe even a webcam. I am thinking I might read some of the letters and poems I have written and I may at some point also offer meditation. I am still brain-storming.


Tarot Readings

I have been doing tarot readings on youtube. The quality of the videos is not ideal given that I am working with my laptop’s webcam. The readings are helping me work through my social anxiety and prepare for job interviews. Also I just enjoy doing the readings, so let me know if you are interested in a reading. I am still learning the tarot so I could use the practice.

Here is a link to the one I recorded today. There are several more on my channel

Love Letter #17

Dear DM,

The last two days have been absolutely wonderful. If I were to give an account of my days just as they occurred they might be mistaken for ordinary, what has them so extraordinary is the sense of you. I have been dreaming about you. The dreams have been sensual, profound, playful even. I would love to tell you about them sparing no detail but it might be too personal for a public post. I have been feeling the heat of kundalini. I have been feeling more optimistic about everything. Thank you for being there.

I am seeing the signs. Yesterday in particular. I was out for a walk. I was thinking about you, talking to you in mind. I commented that it would be an amazing sign if I were to see a white stag. A few steps later I turned my head and saw a herd of deer and among them a white deer! This after seeing a pair of swans randomly in a plowed field. Swans or really elegant trash bags 😛 I did take a picture of the swan I saw the previous day though. I met your higher self last night in a very powerful dream.

I will keep this short, just know that I am absolutely committed to our journey. The answer is yes. Yes to you. Yes to this journey. Yes to our mission. Yes to unlocking my intuition/hidden abilities. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I would have you just as you are. I wouldn’t change a hair on your head. You are beautiful just as you are, so come just as you are. I am here. I am ready.

With everything I am your DF

Love Letter 6

Dear DM,

I woke up very early this morning and I was unable to fall asleep again. Panic. Terror. Longing. Any one of these would suffice to describe my emotional status. Sometimes I find myself questioning my sanity. Sometimes the whys, hows, and wherefores of the situation just become too much. It was a long while before I could console myself again. I want to feel the full weight of your body against mine.

I did an oracle reading this morning which I found rather amusing. “What would you have me do, universe?” “Nothing the universe will act on your behalf when the time is right so for the moment just enjoy yourself.” “What would you have me, say universe.” “Speak your truth. Write with passion.” “Where would you have me go, universe?” “You may feel lost/like you are going in circles but you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust your intuition to guide you going forward..” When I posed the questions I wasn’t sure the cards could answer them and I ended up with surprisingly straight-forward answers. I haven’t decided if the answers are helpful. I am feeling so restless I could crawl out of my skin.

I did various things to console myself throughout the day. Clean. Exercise. Obsess. Masturbate. Climax only seems to enhance my arousal. It is only when I am in the middle of it that I allow myself to really cling to you. It is torture, absolute torture. I love it. I would love it more if you were the one holding the whip.

I haven’t had any spectacular revelations today. I am still trying to work out the delicate balance between surrender and collapse. At the moment I am missing you. At the moment all I can do is write.

With everything I am your DF


No one can love you

from the depths

that I can love you.

No one can know you

the way that I know

because I have seen

inside of you like a dream.

I can feel your tears

whether or not they fall

in every part of my being.

I’ll go on choosing you

even if it takes lifetimes

for my heart to reach you.

I have a will of my own

and a soul full of miracles.

Together we will ascend

like feathers in the wind.

I want to lie down

in your arms.

I want to lie down

against your naked body

and fall asleep to the sound

of your breath

like a whisper in a shell.

I want your hands

to rearrange everything

inside of me.

I know you feel the same

because I feel you.

I can feel your dreams

slipping into me

and your lips

laying invisible blueprints

over my skin.

You are the only one

who can find me.

The only one who can see

what lies behind the stars 

and if you want

you can bury your secrets

in me like a key inside a stone.

I am your home.

Give me your hand,

the cards you hold

close to your vest.

The two and the three.

Together we could be


Together we are

the universe.

Photo Challenge #91 and Writing Prompt #137 “The Fool”


Anne Worner “Don’t Fall In” CC BY 2.0

A cacophony of pawns and inverted innuendos,

we seek truth but revoke its passage

in deference to the ego’s exhausted scripts.

A fool is a fool whatever his age or position.

Transit never satisfies the need for escape

wherever I go distress inevitably follows.

Bags clutched, I’m always starting anew

And I haven’t learned anything save ambiguity.

luis royo_the labyrinth tarot_major arcana_the fool

I had a breakdown today. I don’t cope well with stress. Balance is elusive to the point of absurdity. The moment I feel well-enough I go full out trying to compensate for all the days I wasn’t well-enough. Sam came home from work (which is like a 40 minute drive away) to give me hug and sit with me. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry, he is so sweet. I couldn’t manage to go to Isadora’s school though, I am just too fragile/unstable. I have no idea how I am going to be this week in regards to writing, I still have things I have to do that I can’t cancel.