BONUS Easter Weekend Challenge: “Fascinated”

Love heightened my hopes

crushed my words to fine powder

left me gasping like a dying fish.

I stood alone in an empty room

dissecting your texts with my eyes.

Nothing said was worth repeating

but each night turning “you” over in my head

I found countless ways of interpreting “us”.

Love heightened my hopes

crushed my words to fine powder

left me gasping like a dying fish.

What I call fascination you call diversion.

In my desperation I found a medium

through which to perpetuate my fantasies.

How can it be one-sided if I give enough for us both?

Love heightened my hopes

crushed my words to fine powder

left me gasping like a dying fish.

I promised myself that I would never

settle at the bottom with only an ideal to suspend

but every day I sink a little lower for the chance

that your indifference withholds.

Love heightened my hopes

crushed my words to fine powder

left me gasping like a dying fish.

I listened enraptured as you spoke

but your words never matched my expectations in scope

so I superimposed my intentions onto yours

and I am sure you don’t mind because you never even bother.

I decide to focus on the desperation inherent in the lyrics.

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Music Prompt #31: “I Can’t Escape Myself” by The Sound

My lips cradle your forgotten reliquaries.
I am dissatisfied with my meager existence,
with the unquenchable depths that are my fears.
So senseless, these stories with their grievous outcomes.
My senses are addictions, they shovel in horror after horror,
at least my brain is given to such ornery interpretations.
I hate my brain, how weak and sickly a thing, a brain.
I am polluted, sacred still, but markedly polluted
and I think that I should suffocate
if not for the occasional bout of laughter.

What reason have I to laugh
what reason could I possibly need?
I don’t like people in a collective sense.
We are an insatiable wake, always seeking
a definition that excuses our personal excesses
and prohibits the prosperity of others.
We envy everything, even the deficits,
even the illnesses of others because those scars
could be used to claim some benefit
for which we are not eligible given our fortune.

We are cruel to one another because in others
we assign our motives and in others we see
that which we find lacking in ourselves.
Beneath our frightful costumes
there is a child hurting,
an innocence indelible
and if we could only forgive
we’d see that we too are substantial.

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/music-prompt-31-i-cant-escape-myself-by-the-sound/

Writing Prompt #138 “Collage 13″ and Friday Music #21 “Heaven Coming Down” by The Tea Party

Collage 13

To what do we owe this intermission?

I drink cumulus from a mason jar

but nothing worth salvage brews in me.

I carry the mementos and scars

of every transition we have ever

jointly maintained. My heart does not wane

though these abbreviations refuse to spare.

I see you, I bate you, I wolf you down.

Remember the haunted televisions

we saw while chasing rainbows through asphalt?

We were inebriated, infectious, half-laughing

And death smiled at us as if we were the only

one’s left alive. At our best did we not embody love?

Leave me if you must, forget me while you can,

but in the end it’s inevitable, surrender, home.

Even though we fail, we still have the grace to bow.

I am beat 6 hours of cleaning. The painting is finally done!

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/12/18/friday-music-21-heaven-coming-down-by-the-tea-party/

 

Music Prompt #9 “The Beigeness” performed by Kate Tempest

Apathy defeats

The purpose of sentience.

I cannot relieve a man the

Ruse that has become his faith

If I don’t myself consider.

I occupy the same conditions

And conditionals

If others prosper it’s not because

They have escaped defeat.

Uncertainty is a sign of maturity,

Admitting that we don’t know

Is the first step in seeking truth.

It’s not emotions that are extreme

It’s the procedures employed to deflect them.

There’s no placebo person place or otherwise

That’s going to make me feel better

If my only purpose is to exert identity.

Denial doesn’t hinder evolution

We’re stumbling forward blind or otherwise.

There’s no fighting the rhythms,

There’s no forcing out the Tao.

Every breath is another shot in the face.

Tears make adequate shivs

Your Glasgow grin isn’t convincing anyone

It’s okay come as you are.

The only monster inside is fear,

The mask that we mistake for a better face

Is just another conduit for the stars.

For

I am having trouble with my vision again which is making it hard to keep up on my reading and honestly it is making it hard to write. I find the shadows and headaches very distracting.

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/music-prompt-9-the-beigeness-performed-by-kate-tempest/

Writing Prompt #124 “Collage 6″ and Music Friday Prompt #8

Collage 6

The wilderness thickens as I

Draw nearer the shore.

The stillness is savage

To my untrained ear

Like a bird of prey

Millimeters away

From a forgetful corpse.

In a chair the color of wept sunsets

I bleed poems from both callus and debris.

Young and cautiously permeable

I have known taboos which are

Unspeakable without euphemism

To the grave of an infancy

Sired by stone angels and brutality

To a femininity that sours on ripening.

The ability to freeze time

Requires only attention

To stand naked under

A solitary light and announce

Without reverence or revulsion

The name you have been given.

I will discard that name

With all its fictitious counterparts.

I will be a gypsy fueled

By the currents of earth and sea.

To each soul that I greet

I will pass on a piece of myself

So innocuous they will take it

At once to be there own

Like a spark in a fire that has already been lit.

We never speak to others of matters close

Only of happenings and postures.

The art of conversation exists only in novels

Right now on paper someone is framing you

For passions you can only hope to commit.

I have been struggling with writing or I guess disassociation which makes it hard to connect my thoughts.

For

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/09/11/music-friday-prompt-8-rambler-from-derry-performed-by-the-irish-rovers/

and

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/writing-prompt-124-collage-6″/

Music Friday Prompt #7 and Wordle 121

I do not wallow

However long I linger,

Hope still illuminates my circle.

What incentive have I to obfuscate

When you will only misunderstand?

We strike out, not against our own cliches

But against those who shine the mirror.

My heart strains and scatters.

I hitch my breath,

Words race past

My unmentionables.

If posed I cannot but answer.

Every corner of every room

Is filled with my story and yours.

Blood biting into the concrete,

Gossip is always indiscreet

Believe me when I tell you

That nothing makes sense.

Grey is the only philosophy

That encompasses the full spectrum

Of the human dichotomy.

If I struggle it’s only because

I have room enough to deliberate.

Nothing burdens quite like

The freedom of choice.

The ground beneath me

Buffering, the sky above me

Buffering, and your words

Are only abbreviations

Of conversations will never have.

*

My writing has been pretty crappy lately and for that I apologize. I am going through some heavy emotional stuff and that is about all I can say other than it seems to be taking all I have just to breathe.

121

For

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/09/04/music-friday-p…eak-of-reality/

Music Friday Prompt #6 “Stand Up” by Hindi Zahra and Wordle #123

123

You hollow my silences like a drum.

We were heading South long before

Our journey began. Filters clogged

All my ins are out, all my pieces

Strewn in the gusts of your ambivalence.

You have to choose me

Before the springs in my womb

Loose all their kinks

And I am too old and too bitter

To let you hear my fiercest cries.

If you want to keep

This train from spilling

Headlong into a ditch

You’ve got to conduct yourself right.

Before enough becomes

Too much to sustain

You have to say yes.

Simple and literal from me today, not my strong suit!

For

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/music-friday-prompt-6-stand-up-by-hindi-zahra//

Music Friday Prompt #5 and Wordle #126

You spread in pulses

Over my unfurnished flesh.

A slather of gestures and hues

We are love, we are in pieces.

A short vibrant burst

Our electrons coalesce.

Of all the lessons failed

You are the one

I’d most like to repeat.

I call you master,

You say I’m vivacious,

That I have and render meaning.

You are neither vacuous nor indifferent.

You yield in shadows,

In manipulative alcoves

Under the glare of a violet moon.

Oh the maps we could stitch!

You are sumptuous,

Your addition fills me

I do not speak of parts or vacancies,

Only of consumption.

A sassy smile pressed into my thigh

A single kiss, inexhaustible.

We fit with sufficient force

But whoever said it has to be

Easy to feel right?

126

For

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/?p=2858&preview=true

Music Friday Prompt #4 and Wordle #132

Inky sheets bend in flame,

Pages ripe and yearning

Pulled from the safety

Of my still eroding heart.

I promised to die,

A martyr’s sojourn

But none would keep me.

I trip over stillness,

A pebble worn to silk

By the river’s condolences.

I wipe the clay from my hands,

Immeasurable resurrections

Replayed in the transactions

Between moon and sea,

A convulsive tide eating rain.

The shadows wake,

Ruins of crumpled shade

Hopes impaled on reality’s

Bitter black blade.

My child lost,

Within and without

A savior cannot be saved.

132

For

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/music-friday-prompt-4-queen-of-the-night-from-the-magic-flute-by-mozart/