Deconstructing Bone

If my hands were steady I would wash every stain

From our memories. I know that you have never

Trusted anything that could not be measured,

Honest, inanimate you are so goddamn broken

And I am so goddamn sorry but its going to

Take more than a needle and thread to hold us

Together, this time the best I can do is lick your

Wounds while they’re still raw enough to heal

=

Inside my heart you are a fire consumptive

Did my agony hurt you, in the windows where

You slept under the silver face of a drowning

Moon. Do you dream of wasting, of sinking

Earthbound or do you dream that we are sacred

Blood bearing wine cradled like redemption?

=

My sleeves are unraveled you’ve taken of my

Tainted flesh, of this sinister fruit naively

Bred on the outside. Carrion, the lips that you

Have fed at my expense, carrion the swallows

Defeated by your inner defense, your words were

Never the poetry that I wanted, ugly as the hours

Atrophying in a medicated haze, never thought

Amaranthine would make me miss so much

=

Are we machines falsely operating, are we

A little too close to dying to leave the scale

Unattended, an operatic zenith, you could never

Find your destination in silence, I’ll always

Know where you are, inside my head you

Are sonar draining away every utopian

Thought. My ribs are open, tell me why

You never stepped inside, I was always

Waiting and do you know how alone that

Makes me, I have stood here black flies

Dressing my sickness, in the absence of

Your saline, unspoken tell me did you hesitate

At the beasts within me or was it from the

Weakness spreading underneath your feet

=

All I want to do is deconstruct

All the times I have watched

You sliding sideways, into the

Corners, ill-fed, clinically defeated

On the inside, delicately tasting not

Enough to sustain a breath, not enough

To draw you sickly from a sinking bed

=

Tell me what is there left to save, where

Is the flesh that I have adored?  The

Screams that pour unbroken into my

Buckling limbs, I was there when your

Lungs exhaled, I was here a turpentine

Crush stripping your bones from the

Sheets when your fragile body finally

Surrendered, not as brutal as I thought

It would be, in the end melting tenderly

Into a Van Gogh sunset, I’ll never scrub

The red from my eyes, the quiet mania of

A disloyal sky that never fell apart the

Way that I did watching you ascend

=

I am listening to Moist again

Cyanide Butterfly

There are no life or heart lines to

Depend upon, the depressions in

Your palms have been unsewn by

The repetitious curling of your fists.

If my love, fragile as a coal miner’s

Canary, were to fall into your hands

I’d find no meaning only stygian descent

=

Ours is just a terminal regret

I am just a misguided reject

You are just a sick twisted mindfuck

We are just masks full of defects

=

From your mouth only that which

Is most hated and most feared

A bladed dusk, culling caricature.

In shadow, I have never seen

Your face only the waxen

Silhouette of an immaculate

Deception. We will not compare

Scars, yours are worse of course,

It’s understandable given

=

Ours is just a terminal regret

I am just a misguided reject

You are just a sick twisted mindfuck

We are just masks full of defects

=

I was always the ignorant solider fighting

For a cause you never believed in.

Piss-soaked on a bathroom floor staring

Down a porcelain obituary it never occurred

To you that I deserved more and to me it seemed

A testimony. I would walk on diamonds, just designate

Me the chosen one, just designate me anyone at all

=

Marrow-bated I always sought the depth

In your cellularizing philosophies, but

I could never make myself shallow enough

To be fit into your paper doll nation

=

Ours is just a terminal regret

I am just a misguided reject

You are just a sick twisted mindfuck

We are just masks full of defects

=

I find you slipping like a heroin primed syringe

Into my filthy veins, as sluggish as the coins inside

A dog’s intestines. I never got high enough to justify

The lows and you were never close enough to justify

My love, we were never beautiful but may be honesty

Would have rendered us so but now we will never know…

=

(Listening to Moist which means I get carried away with the long discordant song poems. Moist has unbelievable lyrics and of course they have flow unlike me lol I was listening to a lot of different song so this one doesn’t mean anything specifically to what I have written just sharing)

Day 5 Blog Challenge Favorite Music

31-day-challenge

I am not really sure what my favorite song is because its mood dependent and I tend to be abnormally forgetful so quite possibly this list is missing my favorites lol

 

In no particular order

1. Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah”

2. Bats for Lashes “Daniel”

3. PJ Harvey “White Chalk”

4. Moist “Leave it Alone”

5. Metallica “Unforgiven”

6. Rolling Stones “Paint it Black”

7. Janis Joplin “Me & Bobby McGee”

8. Jefferson Airplane/Collide “White Rabbit”

9. Björk “Human Behavior”

10. Regina Spektor “Machine”

=

White Chalk PJ Harvey