Blog Challenge Day 30 Makeup Bag (Not!)

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Since I do not have a makeup bag (I do own chapstick and lotion) and do not plan on acquiring one I thought I would choose 20 books from my bookcase instead lol These are not all my of my books and though I have several books by certain authors I chose only to include one for each in the list.

  1. “Void of Course” Jim Carroll

  2. “A Season in Hell and Illuminations” Arthur Rimbaud

  3. “Flowers of Evil” Charles Baudelaire

  4. “A Bell Jar” Sylvia Plath

  5. “The Wisdom of No Escape” Pema Chödrön

  6. “Giovanni’s Room” James Baldwin

  7. “1984” George Orwell

  8. “A Clockwork Orange” Anthony Burgess

  9. “The Metamorphosis” Franz Kafka

  10. “A Picture of Dorian Gray” Oscar Wilde

  11. “The Tao of Pooh” Benjamin Hoff

  12. “Vurt” Jeff Noon

  13. “Jane Eyre” Charlotte Brontë

  14. “Siddhartha” Herman Hesse

  15. “Memoirs of a Geisha” Arthur Golden

  16. “Somebody Somewhere” Donna Williams

  17. “Tuesdays with Morrie” Mitch Albom

  18. “The Book” Alan Watts

  19. “The Beautiful Room is Empty” Edmund White

  20. “Mythology” Edith Hamilton

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Blog Challenge Day 28 What are you looking forward to?

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More than anything I want to find a house or a larger apartment! We are saving a little each month and doing a bit of online pursuing to see if anything jumps out at us. I don’t look forward to the actual move of course but I want to build a home, we’ve moved enough and I am really hoping to find a permanent place that we can create in accordance with our vision. Sam is currently building a mechanical table that will be able to walk. We have a lot of unusual ideas. When we lived in Asheville most of our furnishings/decorations were handmade and it felt like ours. I don’t want to live in the Ikea catalog, which is the easy solution because its cheap and despite assembly less labor intensive.

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Our summer plans are not set I have some ideas of things I would like to do: (zip-lining, swimming, traveling, zoo, Amusement Park, etc). As I said we are financially pinched so I am not sure what we’ll achieve if we do in fact achieve anything at all. I do believe Sam has set up a swimming class for Isadora which I will attend with her because Sam is scared of water.

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In the fall Isadora starts school, its close by so I don’t have to ride them tram for hours! I look forward to that! I also look forward to seeing how she gets on. At daycare she had a lot friends, loved the staff, and the whole experience. She always looked forward to going and I am hoping school will be just as wonderful.

Blog Challenge 26 Little Me

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First I had to show you a picture of Sam because he was positively adorable

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This one I am showing you because it looks like the door behind me opens into another time period/dimension lol

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I really don’t have a lot of childhood photos we didn’t have a camera and then what few photos we had my mom stored in a leaky garage go figure lol I was at my cousin’s birthday party in this one I was probably 6 or 7. This is a typical picture I tend to be zoned out not smiling and unaware of the camera. I remember I gave my cousins my glow worm because it was the nicest toy I had as a kid I thought you gave away your favorite things when you loved someone, so I gave away most of my clothes too lol

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Blog Challenge 25 Favorite Websites

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I love so many blogs and have met so many talented writers that I decided to post websites I enjoy rather than blogs because it’s just too hard to leave anyone out.

WordPress obviously its where my blog is and its through WordPress that I have met all of you fabulous people. Its also through WordPress that I have found a lot of wonderful poetry sharing sites

https://wordpress.com/

TED if you have never visited this site I recommend it highly! Ted has so many inspiring talks.

http://www.ted.com/talks

Dulcinea Hellings, her workout videos are a lot of fun! I am a frequent visitor to Youtube in general

http://www.youtube.com/user/BOOTCAMPMC

Lady Cage Mush this is a Planescape Torment site where you find loads of interesting information on the philosophical factions in the game as well as other fun information.

http://mimir.net/psmush/library.shtml

Online Dictionary as a writer I do spend an awful lot of time here, in fact the page is always open encase I should stumble on a new word lol

http://dictionary.reference.com/

Blog Challenge 24 Favorite Childhood Book

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As a child I wasn’t really read to that often, I read to myself and whatever I could get my hands on. For a long time the only books I could really get a hold of were the ones my parents owned which were not exactly age appropriate. They did have a collection of Edgar Allen Poe poetry that I really enjoyed. When I got a little older and my mom started taking me to the library more frequently I checked out a lot of books on Norse and Greek Mythology. When I read Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” in 9th grade it was a real turning point for me. I started to write my own poetry and to pursue classical literature and poetry more ferociously. Not long after I read Arthur Rimbaud’s “A Season in Hell and Illuminations” and I knew then that I had to write.

Blog Challenge 22 Best of 2013

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This year has not been a particularly eventful year. I was sick for months, the frequency of my seizures has increased, and I have been under a good deal of emotional strain.

While my anniversary was low-key because of all the illnesses April 22nd did mark my 13 year wedding anniversary! My husband composed a poem for me which touched me very deeply. He has not really written in years so it was a very pleasant surprise!

Isadora will start school in the fall which blows my mind. We have visited her new school a few times now and I can’t help but feel a bit emotional/proud.

I played Miniature Golf with Isadora for the first time and she absolutely loved it and seeing her light up like that well happiness is really about the simple moments.

Its not happened yet but I have plans to see Rammstein at the festival here and that is exciting!

Blog Challenge 21 10 Favorite Foods

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  1. Joy Roll (inari, panko, kanpyo, cream cheese, avocado, sesame seed) as I can no longer have this unless I make it at home with GF bread crumbs I guess it would be the Boston Roll (shrimp, avocado, mayo)
  2. Cherries, mango, strawberries, and grapes oh my! Actually I love most fruits
  3. Sam’s Onigiri (fresh salmon with a miso mayonnaise type sauce in a warm, comforting cocoon of rice)
  4. Chorizo (I know its horrifically unhealthy but I love adding it too baked beans and rice)
  5. Bok Choy specifically Stir-Fried Sesame Bok Choy but I love it prepared in any way
  6. Sweet Potato fries (only if homemade)
  7. Split Pea Soup (I eat this much my husband worries about me haha)
  8. Turkey prepared in most ways
  9. Miso Eggplant with Paprika (I should just put Miso lol)
  10. Kale unfortunately it is only available for X-mas here so its a treat

(I want to apologize for not visiting more blogs lately. This year I forget when precisely I started to notice a substantial decline in my vision and so I got glasses. That helped and for a while my eyes were doing great even without the glasses but because I have been reading and writing so much lately my vision even with the glasses has started to get very blurry. I am having a real problem with eye fatigue so if anyone has any tips please share!)

Blog Challenge 20 Difficult Times

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I debated a lot on this one and originally I wrote about my childhood but I think that was more horrific than difficult and probably not right for a light-hearted Blog Challenge so I had another go.

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When Sam and I decided to have a baby, I got pregnant instantly.  It was as if the intention was all that was necessary because prior to that the only birth control we used was the withdraw method and for 8 years that was 100% effective. My first sign of pregnancy was not the usual flu like symptoms and/or morning sickness, in fact my earliest symptom didn’t seem related to pregnancy at all. I woke up screaming in the middle of night with pain in my left knee so intense that I couldn’t move the affected limb. The pain made me nauseous and my husband literally had to carry me to the bathroom as I was unable to walk. I lost consciousness from the pain, which is the first and only time that has ever happened to me. I went to the doctor the next day for tests, when I came back days later to discuss the results I thought what the hell why not get a pregnancy test since we are trying. I was pregnant and I had Hypothyroidism (which later went away because of pregnancy hormones).

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During my pregnancy I continued to get pain and spasms in my lower body, never as extreme as the first time but I would sometimes wake up screaming bloody murder. The pain followed very seizure-like spasms but at that time I wasn’t aware of Epilepsy. As I appeared otherwise healthy and as my daughter was developing perfectly it was just dismissed as unusual symptoms of pregnancy.

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After I had Isadora I was like all new mothers completely exhausted and an emotional wreck. My daughter almost never slept and usually required feedings every 15 minutes, in that tiny window of time I would try to sleep but it was usually impossible as I have always struggled to fall asleep. One night I got up to feed Isadora and my legs gave out totally, no resistance almost as if I didn’t even have bones. I literally crawled back to bed and for the rest of the night Sam had to get up and fed her (we usually alternated). The next morning Sam went to work early (his job was about an hour away) and as I was still in bed I had no idea about the condition I was in.

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I fell asleep after he left and I have no idea how long I slept and no idea how long Isadora was crying for my attention. When I tried to get up I couldn’t, I had no strength in my legs at all, they just didn’t work. I hardly had strength in my arms either and had to drag myself military-style to her room, legs completely useless not quite paralyzed but close. I could not get her out of the crib because I could not stand/was much too weak so I just talked to her for a while and held her hand through the bars.

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I called Sam and told him what had happened and he left work strait away (it was an hour of panic for us both I imagine). He took me to my doctor and after a few simple neurological tests I was rushed to the emergency room. It was crowded but I never waited, it was instantaneous admittance. My neurological exams came back extremely abnormal and I had a potassium deficiency. I got an IV and they started a barrage of painful tests. I had a spinal tap, an MRI that was 2 1/2 hours long, blood work for just about everything imaginable. They thought I might have Transverse Myelitis, MS, or Lupus.  Of all the tests they never did an EEG which might have been helpful!

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It was horrible not being with my baby. My mom came to help with Isadora so Sam could spend some time with me as we had no idea how serious my condition was. They couldn’t find anything even though I was obviously not okay. Once I started to regain strength I decided to go home even though it wasn’t recommended I couldn’t sleep in the hospital and I was getting very Depressed. When I got home I had 4 days of intense spinal headaches and I couldn’t really leave the bed, if you have never had a spinal headache they are completely disabling. I felt terrible that Sam had to take double duty for a while on top of his job with the long commute. It was a rough time. The good thing is that I recovered strength and mobility quickly. I still don’t really know what happened if it was my Epilepsy or something else (my seizures aren’t painful now). I don’t know if that something else spontaneously resolved itself or if it will reoccur (I have experienced temporary immobility once before in my neck).

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I lived in US at that time without health insurance and with all those tests, plus a hospital stay you can imagine the concern I felt as to how we would ever get out of debt. We were living on one income, a teacher’s salary, and we had a new baby. My financial fears turned out to be unfounded. The hospital never once asked us about payment or insurance, in fact they took care of everything silently including all the admissions paperwork. On top of that they didn’t charge us anything. We received a list of services in the mail but the cost of every single procedure including my stay was zero dollars. After my daughter this is the second biggest miracle of my life!

Blog Challenge 19 Collections

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Childhood

Crayons

My Little Ponies (Isadora has my collection now)

Adolescent

Boxes

Stuff from Sweden

Journals (I wasn’t good about writing in them but I loved having them haha)

Postcards

Adult

Skirts apparently haha

I want to collect boots but I can’t convince Sam

Books (though its been a while since I’ve went book shopping)

Exercise paraphernalia (mostly pants)

Blog Challenge 18 Blog Name

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Mindlovemisery reflects the subjects most extensively explored in my poetry. Mind- philosophy, psychology, mental illness, society Love- loss, unrequited, infatuations and obsessions, sex, true love, new love, relationships of all sorts both dysfunctional and sublime Misery- childhood trauma, Depression, living with Epilepsy, the search for meaning, loneliness, spiritual dilemmas grief, social ineptitude etc. The original source of the name was not a simple mashup of words it came from a poem (the poem was influenced by the music of Moist specifically the Creature Album) I wrote this poem many many years ago and you can find it using the link below. The quote beneath comes from “Vurt” by Jeff Noon

https://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/mind-love-misery/