(This chapter has kissing and a bit of sexual content. As you know I am writing this for fun, no planning involved, just strait stream of conscious. I tell myself stories throughout the day and this is a bit like that, only I am writing it down and sharing it. I have extremely poor social skills in real life and that bleeds into my characters and their relationships which is why I tend to choose misfits. Anyhow I realize I’ve never described Dak’kon’s appearance (or given him a normal name lol). Dak’kon is 6’3, athletic/fit but not bulky, Japanese/Eastern European, tan, brown eyes, long, thick, black hair with a slight wave, on the sexy side of good-looking, body hair more in line with his Japanese heritage, medium frame size)

“Xyven approached me in the library shortly after you left. He looked…off somehow.” Dak’kon said no sooner than the portal had closed behind him. He wasn’t slurring his words but his pacing was a bit off. Nikolai was clearly troubled by the news and it was a while before the other spoke again.

“We’ll have to reevaluate the schedule.” The red head sighed giving Dak’kon a thorough once over. “I thought you slept naked.” He commented after another pause.

“I don’t feel much like sleeping and even if I did what makes you think I’d jump into bed with you naked?” Dak’kon answered smiling. Was it Nikolai or the alcohol that had taken the edge off his mood?

“It’s called wishful thinking you should try it sometime. By the way have you been drinking?” Nikolai asked indicating the water bottle still in Dak’kon’s hand. It wasn’t so much the inconspicuous bottle that had tipped him off, as the lazy smile plastered on the musician’s face.

“Wishful thinking I’ll keep that in mind. I have been drinking. I wasn’t sure when you were going to show up.” He said his gaze lingering a little too long on the other’s lopsided grin.

“I would have come sooner if I’d known. Did anything happen? What did he say?” Nikolai reached up and squeezed Dak’kon’s shoulder right where it connected to the muscles of his neck. It was meant to be a comforting gesture but it felt a little too good.

“Uh…nothing particularly enlightening. He apparently doesn’t want us redecorating.” Dak’kon’s said shrugging. “There is something I don’t get though. I thought he was tied to the house. I saw him in town when the lawyer went over the will.”

“Did you see him interact with anything? Did he speak to anyone?” Nikolai asked it was apparently the first he’d heard of Xyven’s outing.

“Not that I can think of. He barely left an impression.” Dak’kon sat his bottle down on the table. There was really no use drinking now, though there was something slightly appealing about getting drunk.

“Maybe he can project his image?” Nikolai suggested but it was clear he didn’t have an answer.

“I have seen some things I can’t explain. The way he moved it wasn’t natural. I might be losing mind.” Dak’kon said flopping down on the mattress.

“That is a possibility.” Nikolai offered plopping down beside the other man. “But in that case you’re not the only one.” The red head nudged him playfully.

“So what do we know about this demon anyway I mean really?” Dak’kon asked, he wasn’t looking at Nikolai now. He didn’t even slide over when the red head sat too close.

“He attacks when you’re in an altered state of consciousness. He can infect dreams. He has the ability to possess others and that is what really sets him apart from other incubi the ability to assume and maintain a corporeal form. He consumes sexual fluids.” Nikolai chewed on his bottom lip, apparently that last bit of information was embarrassing.

“What do you mean consumes? Like it gets him off or like its a source of energy?” Dak’kon asked. He was so far down the rabbit hole at this point that there was no coming up for light.

“Both. I don’t know if he’s subject to starvation but I wonder how long he could maintain his hold on Xyven if he were deprived.” Where had Xyven been getting his fluids anyways? The obvious answer, of course, was Nikolai. Though it seemed to him that the red head had been hiding himself for a while now.

“We could just leave then. Head back to my place in the city at least until the winter is over.” Dak’kon suggested. He had no intention of abandoning the house but he wasn’t exactly equipped for this sort thing. At least in the city they could conduct proper research and make contacts. An internet connect could have done wonders for their cause.

“Maybe but you said he projected himself into the city. He might be forced to return here periodically but whose to say he can’t leave? Besides I am not sure if I can leave the house. Maybe I died and maybe that’s why he left my body.” Although it was obvious that Nikolai considered his death a serious possibility, Dak’kon could not help but laugh.

“I just watched you eat a whole pizza by yourself. You are real alright. I can see you. I can touch you.” To illustrate this (though it was unnecessary considering that they had touched many times) Dak’kon mussed Nikolai’s hair. “You need to get out of this place. Interact with people.”

“I want to kiss you just so you know.” Nikolai turned away smiling shyly. “We’ll try it your way but I better not fucking disappear. Now play me something, you kind of promised me and I have entertained your questions enough for the night. Just for like a second I want to be normal.” Nikolai said and there was something sincere and even a little sad in his tone.

“You talk too much.” Dak’kon replied turning Nikolai’s face toward him. His eyes were lowered when he pressed forward. Nikolai met him part way. The kiss started out slow, sensual, exploratory even but proceeded with great desperation. Dak’kon was surprised at how soft the other man’s lips were. Everything about the kiss surprised him, especially the part where he liked it. Though like wasn’t a very adequate description for what was, in fact, an incredible kiss. They parted only after their aching lungs were too spent to continue and even then it was with great reluctance. “You are alive.” Dak’kon took Nikolai’s hand and instead of placing it over his own heart he had the man touch himself. How long had Nikolai been living here like this, long enough for peculiarities and schisms to arise, long enough for desperation to override logic. “Now I believe I owe you a song” Dak’kon said rising.

“Or we could just make out some more.” Nikolai suggested, his voice low, sexy even. Dak’kon was very close to accepting the offer.

It was a bit too soon for him though. He’d never been attracted to another man outside of a vague, casual acknowledgment that some men were fit. Even during his more impressionable years he had been strictly drawn to the opposite sex and it was with the opposite sex that all his youthful experimentation had occurred. He was not prepared just now to alter his identity. He could not deny that he had just kissed another man and that he had enjoyed it to an almost painful degree but he could at least give himself some processing time. Time to absorb, maybe even savor the anticipation and turmoil the incident had caused him. It wasn’t like he was black and white about his sexuality or sexuality in general it was just unfamiliar. It was deeper than that though he was unfamiliar with monogamy, with deep friendship, with anything bordering on meaningful and he didn’t take Nikolai for a one night stand kind of person. The one thing he hated more than anything was leading someone on, since he hadn’t totally shot the man down yet it was clear enough that he was at least entertaining a possibility between them.

“Don’t be so greedy.” Dak’kon teased taking his guitar out of its case.

Dak’kon played several songs, though it was in part to center himself. He even sang. His voice was deep, a bit rough, and his voice bordered on too sexy, inadvertently sexy. When he was finished Nikolai praised him enthusiastically but it was the shifting of a concealed erection that clarified the effect of his music.

Nikolai chewed nervously on his bottom lip and there it was again that feeling of overwhelming awkwardness. A tightening of the chest. An ache that was to Dak’kon utterly foreign. They had chemistry and he was not used to holding himself back.

“Will you follow me? There is somewhere I want to take you.” Nikolai asked shaking Dak’kon from his mental paralysis. “Yeah alright.” He said looking into the other’s eyes for the first time in a while. It was both intoxicating and uncomfortable as hell.

“Trance or vodka it’s up to you.” Were they going to travel to one of the other rooms? Dak’kon had noted the existence of 4 unopenable rooms. So far he’d only seen one. As for the options he wasn’t sure which was better. His buzz had worn off. If he got drunk he was more likely to act on his impulses and less likely to remember the details.

“Trance.” He said after a too long pause. Nikolai clipped his hair back this time maybe because Dak’kon had teased him about the ponytail.

“I almost can’t look at you.” Nikolai said shifting his weight back and forth, so the man was shy when it got real? After looking down several times to collect himself the red head finally focused and with an intensity Dak’kon hadn’t seen before.

Looking into the man’s eyes he found himself slipping underneath a powerful tide. He didn’t struggle.


Part 4

(supernatural, awkwardness, kissing, erections, gay with this story I am just writing freely trying to break through the barriers/insecurities that keep me from writing stories. I probably will have to reign my shit in to write a popular story but now I am just trying to write/complete any story and have fun doing it)

Dak’kon couldn’t sleep at first but he was still appreciative of the silence. He needed to be alone with his thoughts, to process the day’s events. He doubted much sense could be made of the situation there were just too many things that he didn’t understand. For what purpose had Xyven drugged him? Clearly the drugs weren’t meant to kill him. If for the purposes of rape then why hadn’t the other given him aphrodisiacs? Was it merely a diversion? Was Xyven’s true purpose to disable him while he searched for Nikolai? If so he’d done the red head an enormous disservice by drawing attention to his existence. The only way he could conceivably make up for that was to keep Nikolai safe, to eliminate the threat that Xyven posed.

According to Nikolai Xyven was possessed by a demon. Was this simply a way of explaining the betrayal of a lover or was there something more to it? He’d grown up hearing stories of demons, of magic, of alternate realms but he had never once taken them as truth. He did not look down on believers but he needed actual evidence. Words were insufficient, liars were common and often the best orators. Nikolai didn’t strike him as being particularly dishonest though, everything the gardener told him came from a place of genuine belief. But was it just Nikolai’s truth or was it the actual truth?

How could he explain away his dream? He’d met Nikolai before they’d ever officially met. Had he glanced at a newspaper while stopping at the gas station? Had their been an image? An article about the man’s disappearance? He couldn’t remember anything of the sort but it was perfectly possible something in his periphery had left a subconscious imprint.

What about the mirrors? The statue in the foyer? Why did they strike him as significant? They were common enough motifs in horror movies. He was starting a new chapter in his life, it was probably just stress. Everything could be explained away but the eye that was something he’d never seen. A genetic defect maybe? He wasn’t exactly sporting a medical degree so for all he knew there was a simple, scientific diagnosis.

Eventually his mind settled in the familiar comfort of logic and he began to incrementally unwind. He noticed for the first time the scent in the sheets, it was a comforting scent, subtle, clean, masculine in only the positive respects. He didn’t sense Nikolai’s presence anymore but he felt certain the other was still in the room with him (otherwise he would have heard something). They were close in age and the man’s personality, though strange, wasn’t bad. He didn’t have many male friends but he felt that they could get along. He had to find a way of getting the red head out of this house or else removing the danger so that the house would be safe again.

Dak’kon at last nodded off.

What is the deal with the mirrors?” Dak’kon asked sitting up in bed. Nikolai was leaning against the wall, knees up, seemingly keeping guard. “They are portals. The only problem is you have to be in an altered state of consciousness to use them. If Xyven succeeds in drugging you again, get to your bedroom as fast as you can. He won’t be able to follow you.” Nikolai explained. Rising the red head crossed the room and took a seat beside him on the mattress. Once again he was struck by the offness of the man’s proximity.

Assuming I believe you about everything did the demon’s presence leave any lasting effects. I mean aside from the eye?” Dak’kon asked with Nikolai facing forward all he could see of the man’s face was his jawline.

How do you think we are talking right now?” The red head asked turning to face Dak’kon. “I can enter dreams. I can manipulate them too but mostly I just use them to communicate.” The gardener answered crossing his legs underneath him.

So my dream you were really there?” Dak’kon asked watching the red head pick at his shoe laces.

Yeah that was me.” Nikolai answered tilting his head to the side.

And that shadow I was chasing who was that?” Dak’kon felt a strange tightness in his chest but he wasn’t sure if it was in regards to his recollection of the nightmare figure or something else.

That was the demon. Not actually the demon but a projection of your mind. You sensed him as soon as you entered the house. The statue in the foyer. See your grandfather used to perform exorcisms and cleansings. He got called out on an assignment and that’s when he first encountered the demon. He wasn’t strong enough to banish it outright so he trapped it inside of a suitable vessel. For a long time the demon was dormant, the trap was effective. He spent years trying to find a way to get rid of the demon but he was unsuccessful. He even called in holy men of different faiths but they wanted nothing to do with this house or the demon contained within. Eventually his health began to deteriorate and his magic weakened. The demon broke free but years of confinement had left him diminished. He needed a host. The elderly staff were of no interest to him because their bodies were too fragile. Your grandfather taught me how to resist possessions but Xyven thought the whole thing was bullshit. He only pretended to listen so he wouldn’t lose his job. Xyven was the perfect candidate when you think about it. The demon went for me first though, the fact that Xyven was a nonbeliever gave him a kind of natural resistance.” Nikolai explained. Dak’kon couldn’t remember the red head ever sounding so pensive before.

You and Xyven were you really lovers?” Dak’kon asked the fact that they were speaking in a dream made him feel less reserved.

I said the demon failed to possess me but that isn’t exactly true. It took me about two weeks to fight him off. While he was inside of me. I had these urges. My sex drive was heightened so if you were thinking Xyven forced me, he didn’t have to.” Nikolai clarified chewing on his bottom lip.

Did you even know what was happening? Can you remember the time you were together?” Dak’kon asked. For someone whose words defied logic, the red head was awfully coherent.

The same way you experience a dream. I saw what was happening. Sometimes I even felt it. Sometimes I even managed some measure of control but mostly I was just an observer.”Nikolai said grinning at the floor. “Are you done asking about my uh sex life?” The red head queried nudging Dak’kon playfully with his shoulder.

Sorry, I am just trying to make sense of everything. What about Xyven is he still in there?” Dak’kon asked he was getting into this now fiction or not.

The demon has been inside of Xyven for nearly a year. I am not sure what is left of the man’s original personality. I am not really even sure what Xyven is like, you know outside of sex.”

Is this all you do in dreams talk?” Nikolai asked his expression was playful, almost goading.

No not usually. What sort of dream would you prefer?”Dak’kon asked jokingly. Truth be known about 90% of his dreams were about sex.

Dak’kon was lying on his back again, Nikolai on top him but this time the red head wasn’t sitting down on him he was lying on top of him. He felt the man’s thigh against his sex and the man’s soft mouth enveloping his own. He should have been the one surprised but it was the red head that pulled away, though just a fraction.

I thought you didn’t like this sort of thing?” Nikolai’s lips brushed against his when he spoke.

I don’t so get off already.” Dak’kon said grabbing the back of Nikolai’s neck roughly leaving the red head no means of compliance. Leaning forward it was Dak’kon who initiated the kiss and it was also Dak’kon’s tongue that entered first. Nikolai didn’t resist the kiss, he only increased the intensity. As they kissed Dak’kon could feel the other grinding against him. He could feel that lean thigh wedged between his legs creating an uneasy friction. A friction that heated his body up, a friction that made him feel strange and conflicted. The other’s hands, warmly cupped the side of his face. His lungs ached, there was something primal and desperate rising up inside of him, a need unknown and taboo.

Dak’kon woke up suddenly. The direction and the lucidity of the dream having jarred him forcefully awake. He’d expected Nikolai to be on top of him as that would account for the potency of the experience but the red head was still on the other side of the room. Now that Dak’kon could move, albeit somewhat more sluggishly than normal, he sat up completely unaided. Nikolai was seated against the wall, knees up, head slumped forward. Apparently the red head was still asleep.

Dak’kon got up and walked over to the man. If Nikolai was really in his head why hadn’t he woken up yet? Squatting in front of Nikolai, Dak’kon reached over and ran a hand through the other man’s hair.

“Leave me alone I’m busy. Better yet go back to sleep.” Nikolai mumbled though Dak’kon could tell by the red head’s voice that he was very much awake.

“What was I dreaming about? Tell me if you know…” Dak’kon asked, his question forced Nikolai to look up.

“Well there was an awful lot of talking first of all. Lets see first you asked me about the mirrors. Then we talked about your grandfather, about the demon, and about how the demon possessed me before it possessed Xyven and about how during my possession Xyven and I became lovers. Then I teased you about having such boring dreams and you kissed me.” Nikolai answered but the answer was impossible. How could the other deduce so much?

“Close enough…the kiss though that never happened.” Dak’kon was lying of course, it had happened and he blamed it on the fact that he was asleep and not in his right mind (there was also the incident with the kiss prior to falling asleep).

“Okay but I wouldn’t stand up for a while if I were you otherwise I will see your erection.” Nikolai teased but his comment was on the mark. Dak’kon hadn’t noticed it before but it was true. His pants were incredibly tight particularly in this crouched position.

Grabbing Nikolai by the ankles he slid the red head out from the wall and although the other man put up somewhat of a struggle (at least in jest) he managed to get him flat on his back. “You mean that erection that’s all you.” Dak’kon turned around and stood up so that he wasn’t facing Nikolai anymore.

“I think I believe you about the dreams. Maybe there is something to the other stuff as well.” He sighed and he could hear Nikolai behind him scrambling to a more modest seated position. “Thanks.” There was a hint of shyness in the other’s voice.

“I am going to have to leave. Get us some actual food. Do you want to come with?” Dak’kon asked still facing away from Nikolai.

“I think I’ll stay here and jerk off while you’re gone but I am all about the food idea.” Nikolai responded.

“You really don’t have a filter. Now how do I get out of here?” Dak’kon asked hadn’t Nikolai said something about an altered state of consciousness? He doubted he could fall asleep again.

“I’ll have to put you in a trance…” Nikolai answered rising up from the floor.

“Once I am through how do I wake up from the trance?” Dak’kon asked, he could hardly believe how ridiculous he sounded.

“Once you’re under I’ll give you a word. Just say it out loud once you’ve made it to the other side.” Dak’kon was very conscious of the other behind him. “But you are going to have to turn around and look at me for this to work.” Dak’kon could hear Nikolai fiddling with something behind him but he did not turn around immediately. Instead he conjured up the most unpleasant image he could think of in an effort to eradicate his erection.

When Dak’kon finally turned around to face the man, he saw immediately that the red head had pulled his hair back. The resulting ponytail stood up cutely on the top of his head. He could now clearly see both of the man’s eyes.

“I don’t think I can take you seriously like that.” Dak’kon said unable to suppress a smile.

“For this to work I need you to look into my eyes. Let your thoughts go all fuzzy and soft like a vignette.” Nikolai was trying not to smile but Dak’kon could see that the other’s lips trembled ever-so-slightly. “Not my mouth…my eyes alright.” Nikolai corrected and Dak’kon allowed his gaze to drift upward. The pull was immediate, like the force of gravity after a high speed revolution.

Wordle 200


Hopelessness keeps

One delicate and chained.

Suffer me in sympathy

I can endure the knife

But the noose leaves me

Turbulent and estranged.

However, tiny the pathogen

Dissemination is inevitable.

I lift the cherries from your tongue

The knots are unassailable

The clandestine pit

The fleshy medulla

Juices that rupture

Into my absences

A one man everything.

The uncut river rips

My heart from its perch

A canary thrust beak first

And wasting into the mines.

My fingers flex against the currents

Scalpels searing invisible flesh.

I hook transmutables

In the arch of my palms

Pushing and tumbling

Along a course that overtakes itself.

I fold over myself like petals

Burying a beloved stamen.

A time capsule untempered.

My lungs wrestle the tide

Like an umbrella hassled in tempest

There’s no escaping my post

My awkward humanity

You take me in, one gulp at a time.

I did 201 but I think I want to work on it some more (I should probably give these poems names). Is my blog behaving normally? Posts showing up everyday on Reader? Has WordPress been experiencing any problems? On another note I am working on my 2nd book and I am quite excited about it XD




stageBeautiful but circuitous

I remain estranged

Salutations that never

Extend invitation

Lips too buoyant

To indulge profundity


There is loneliness

In the sustainment of doubt

There is loneliness

In a sealed heart that grows

Emptier with the passage of time


To possess a tongue without guile

A betrayal to both barer and expectancy

There is freedom in awkwardness

In the way it forbids assimilation


I am not an actress and no stage

No matter how obliquitous

Could detain me