I have too many emotions.
They stick in my teeth,
in my twisted viscera,
in my glowing red heart
in my stiff grey lungs.
They are my hands and my feet
and all the spaces in between.
–
Feelings can’t be ascribed
to any one organ
they rise up between
the solid bits.
They are a void.
They are eternal
right up until the moment
of exchange.
–
I am inconsolable
whatever my orientation.
Viscous and viral
there is a wilderness
so wild and so vast
that no map could ever
hope to translate it.
I am that wilderness.
–
I never have
the same emotion twice.
Each emotion is its own construct.
The only thing which is certain
in me is uncertainty
but that does not
bring me comfort.
–
I sleep hundreds of hours a day.
I am the dream, not the dreamer.
I do not wake but every now and then
life comes pouring in like salt water
and takes me to another place
and in that foreign place
I take on the arduous task
of drowning.
mindlovemisery 