Love Letter #29

Dear DM,

There are so many things I want to say to you. I want to make you smile, cry, blush, laugh, feel as I felt the first time I wrote to you. I want to make you feel the way I feel every time I think of you. Which is to say I want you to feel everything all at once, the human heart beyond capacity, the soul hunger that supersedes all thought. I wish I could share with you even a tenth of what I feel but no single language, taken individually or together, could contain it. Some things just have to be experienced. Speaking of which I have senses dedicated solely to the experience of you, senses which awakened with the realization of you.

My whole life I have been writing stories about other people, for other people. You make me want to write my own story. Not only to write as I have done but to live in the present tense. Sometimes I wish I could remember our histories, the miles we have traveled, the spaces we have occupied, the millennia we have lived. If I could only remember what it was to have you in my life, in all ways, in the everyday way I might not doubt quite so much what the future holds. I am full of doubts. These great cobwebs of the mind which catch up all my thoughts and feelings and suck them dry. I am scared to hope. Scared to lose all that we might be together.

Not long ago you were in my bed, in my dreams, our faces close together. I listened with my whole being and still I cannot for the life me translate what you said. I listened so hard that I surrendered all that I would say and the opportunity to say it just to know you more completely in that moment. I guess what I am saying is I want to get to know you. I am interested. Between us there can be no judgement, only freedom. I am naked. You see me.

With all that I am your DF

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