Love Letter #27

Dear DF,

“Je t’aime” I’ve seen these words written on a plain white t-shirt not once but twice this week. I saw the words “Perfect Union” big and bold across my computer screen and it had nothing to do with twinflames, it was just one of those happy coincidences. I have seen twins, swans, and a million little reminders of our journey. Everything seems to contain something of you within its essence. I meet you in the strangest places, in the strangest ways, over and over again all day long.

It feels like my heart is the rope in a game of tug of war. Missing you hurts, physically. Still it is a privilege to miss you, to worry about you, to love you, to spend day after day bursting with thoughts of you. It’s been a year since I saved your photograph to my computer. A year since I first laid eyes on you by accident. I guess you could say this is our anniversary. It’s my anniversary of you anyhow.

Sometimes I imagine you writing, calling, showing up on my doorstep ready to lay your heart bare. I dream about you every night. So despite all of these near apocalyptical events I can’t really bring myself to hate this year. How could I hate any day knowing that we are alive? All I know is how I feel and I tell myself that I don’t need more than that, that all I need is the feeling of you but I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never thought about you in the flesh. What would you do with me in the flesh? What would you say? I want to know how you move across a room. I want to know how invasive you’d feel right up close to me because right now with all these miles between your presence is still swallowing me up. If I am going to drown in you I want to look you in the eyes when you take away my breath.

Je t’aime,

DF

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