Dear DM,
Where do I even begin? My head is a mess. I am tongue-tied and incoherent. I am unable to find my balance. I am free-falling. More simply put I am struggling with issues of self-worth. I feel invisible and insignificant. Yet here I am. Determined. Fierce. Wild. A man can’t rationalize himself out of existence. You are a part of me. A part of my soul. I can’t think you, us out of being. It is “self so”. We just are. I love you and somehow that makes sense. You are a cold drink of water on a hot day. You are the first clean, deep breath after hours of panic-induced sobbing. You are my sanctuary.
I spend so much time trying to prove/disprove realities/identities to myself and other people. Most of those realities and identities are pretty inhospitable. What we call reality is just the place where we store all of our fears. Why not store all of our hope there instead? Why not create a world we want to live in by creating that world within ourselves? I am not sure if I am making any sense. I guess what I am trying to say is that fear and reality aren’t synonymous terms. Nothing distorts the way fear distorts. Living in fear is not being realistic or practical. It is very hard to be compassionate when operating from a place of fear. It is very hard to keep an open-mind when crippled with doubt. It is much easier to be compassionate when acting from a place of love and gratitude. It is much easier to keep an open-mind when operating from a place of hope and curiosity. I have accepted the fear and guilt based reality society preaches for too long. The cool thing about being human is the ability to create, to adapt, to change perspective, to dream so-called impossible things into being.
Anyway I am still experimenting with this happiness thing. I am still trying to adjust my perspective and beliefs in a way that allows me the freedom to live, love, be, and create. I will get up again. I will take another breath. I always do.
I have another song for you =)
Can’t take my eyes off you- Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
Pardon the way that I stare
There’s nothin’ else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it’s real
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
I love you, baby
And if it’s quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don’t bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I’ve found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you
I love you, baby
And if it’s quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don’t bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I’ve found you, stay
Oh, pretty baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
With all that I am your DF
mindlovemisery 