They say that lust is antecedent to love.
If true then it is not my heart
that is wounded but my ego.
By that logic I should be able
to find a substitute for you.
Yet you continue to occupy me
day and night the way that rain
makes a home for itself in every hollow.
A choice never seems as such
the moment it is finalized.
I could wait but waiting
feels a lot like penance.
Sometimes patience
leads to obsession.
I didn’t die the way I planned.
The chains were too thick,
the armor too heavy
and for all my inventions
never once did I think a door
would serve a purpose
other than invasion.
My heart is a well
and every night
I reach into her depths
in search of water
to quench my thirst
but there is only
so much blood
one person can drink.
You were supposed to love me.
Not because I willed it
but because I gave you an invitation.
How can I follow you now knowing
that I am just another shadow
dragging behind your back?
–
I saw this in my list of poems to edit but I could not find the original in its entirety. You might recognize some lines from it.
mindlovemisery 