Update Hysterectomy Recovery

This update is overdue and I did say I would discuss my recovery honestly. It has not been a full year since I had a Hysterectomy but almost.

The belly shelf is gone, my scar is tidy (fading a little), but my weight is not where I would like it to be. I am struggling with weight loss and actually I haven’t made any progress in that department. I fluctuate occasionally but we are talking max 2 kilos. I am able to exercise normally now. I can do everything I did before. My abs are getting stronger all the time. But my body does not burn as many calories as it did before. Believe it or not just having a uterus burns calories. So not only do I burn less calories but my appetite has increased. Trust me when I tell you it was already high so it was the last thing I needed. Suffice to say I am not all that happy with my body.

I still have fibrocystic breasts (which has been the case since I was 12 so no relief there). My nipples are not less sensitive despite what the research suggested. I am wondering if they aren’t actually more sensitive but in a better way?

This next section is somewhat specific to me the individual and won’t apply to all women. I still have functional ovaries which last time the doctor checked were full of healthy eggs (so I was no where near the menopause stage). Prior to the operation I took progesterone to control bleeding (which I stopped taking after the surgery). This pertains to my body returning presumably to status quo hormone levels.  I cannot say that my normal hormone levels are in balance. I could be completely out of whack for all I know. I can only say that how I feel now is similar to how I felt in college. The hormonal changes happened more gradually.

So birth control functioned for me like a psychotropic drug. I still experienced emotional fluctuations while taking it but not to the same degree. I was able to shake off bad moods and insecurities a little easier. I was less grumpy and moody. Bad moods still arose of course but not at the same intensity. The birth control really suppressed my sex drive and made me quite dry. Well now that I am not taking it my emotions are hitting hard. Since I lost my job in a very difficult and unpleasant way I became extremely depressed. I started to experience a lot of panic attacks towards the end. In general my anxiety is very high and I have been more inclined toward isolation (I am starting to crawl my way out). I find it much harder to shake negative, cyclic thinking. I am grumpy, more obsessive, and my libido is unmanageable. I don’t know what to do with it. I mean I do but there is a limit to how much time one can spend managing/entertaining such things. The dryness is gone. I am writing but it is writing to channel some of that sexual frustration which is why I haven’t shared it. I am trying to work with my therapist to get a handle on my amplified emotions. On the positive side I do feel more alive but on the downside my emotions can be destructive. I am absolutely exhausted from wrestling with my emotions and yet I can’t sleep because I can’t really wait to be awake again. I am guessing this is not just Hysterectomy hormone stuff. It might be like Bipolar and somehow the birth control gave me just enough leeway to cope. I can’t rightly say I can only report how I am feeling.  It might just be losing my job, being unemployed, starting over, how slow everything is moving because of bureaucracy. It could be a combination.

As for orgasms I can have both clitoral and vaginal orgasms. Vaginal does take longer and I would say they are less frequent now then previous. But I can say that my orgasms are not diminished in intensity (sometimes they are more intense). I have not had any complications and my health has not been affected by the change as far as I can tell. I mean except for the panic attacks but I have not had one in a while. I forgot how intense I can be as a person.

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