If I were to say that outward appearance doesn’t play a role in how attractive I find a person you would never believe me. Even I wouldn’t believe me because like everyone else I can be taken in by external beauty. What I find beautiful and what society generally accepts as beautiful don’t always overlap. Sometimes I can see that a person tics the usual boxes but they are simply not my type and sometimes my type is absolutely mystifying to other people. But like many girls who grew up in the 90s I thought Johnny Depp was cute. Actually I rather liked Skeet Ulrich a bit more, especially in Touch (the movie about the Stigmata). Yet when it gets down to it I can’t connect with someone that doesn’t make me laugh, that I don’t find interesting, that isn’t, at heart, a decent human being. In high school I dated a guy briefly that was generally classified as smoking hot. When I broke up with him because he was jealous and a little scary my female classmates thought I had lost my damn mind. I mean I wasn’t exactly gorgeous (far from it). I was and still am a rather weird looking person. Only now I don’t have the benefit of being young. I admit I often favor unorthodox looks even when taking a surface glance. I just don’t like faces that are too perfect. I also don’t think I am alone in this but once you get to know a person you perceive them differently even aesthetically. A delightful person with an average face can transform outwardly into someone truly breathtaking. The opposite is also true. In some ways having difficulty with my vision/spatial awareness might make it easier for me because I am naturally suspicious of what my eyes perceive. I operate more on intuition and my sense of smell. Pheromones probably play a huge role in my decision-making process! I have changed with age. I wish I had the luminous skin of my teens! My husband has also changed since we met. I think he is gorgeous, I have always thought so. He makes me laugh. He gives the best most generous hugs. His listens. He is curious. He is intelligent. He makes me think. He challenges me. He can hold his ground against my unbelievable stubbornness and not get run over. He cooks! He has the most beautiful hands I have ever seen. I don’t get sick of him. As a loner type I have a hard time being around people for extended periods. This is not so with my husband. I want him in my space. I enjoy being near him. I would literally look at the man all day long if he’d let me. Speaking of which I love that he gets embarrassed when watching movies and hides under a blanket. I love that he thinks I am beautiful even when I don’t see it at all. He smells AMAZING. I could keep going. The point is I would never trade all that for material wealth, fame, or for a spell that would grant me eternal life and beauty or for some run of the mill Casanova. They say beauty fades with age but when you love someone it never does because you see beneath the surface to the soul underneath.