“You’re not special enough. We are looking for someone with distinction, someone with a strong but vacuous presence. How many labels have you acquired? Did you bring your personalized glossary? Do suffer from independent thought? We can’t have you thinking, that would never do.”
“You have not suffered enough. We can’t assist you. Come back when you’re dead, better wait until decomposition starts and you’ve gone a little sour.”
“Did you say that you were real? We don’t work with anyone who hasn’t been under the knife. You must be tailored specifically to our aesthetic. I can see from here that you are not a factory model. Your skin is too supple and did you know that your breasts are natural? The breast must not yield on contact and under absolutely no circumstances should the nipple point south of the horizon. And please tell me that you brought a syringe, heaven forbid you should emote during business hours.”
“Did you say that you train? No that can’t be. Why you don’t even have a thigh gap and where is your 6 pack? From the looks of it you eat at least twice a day. I hate to ask this but do you eat carbs? You’ve got that doughy look. Have you ever considered lipo? I happen to carry an airbrush in my bag I can touch you up before you leave, we’ll straighten those curves right out!”
“Did you say that you had a mental illness? No that can’t be everyone knows that depressed people live underground and that they never, under any circumstances, get out of bed. Therapy isn’t for your kind. Now if you’ve had mediocre vacation recently I might be able to get you a few days of sick leave.”
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Accidentally posted my prompt here! The actual prompt is here
https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2018/08/05/sunday-writing-prompt-satire/
mindlovemisery 