Defect

You are a long, duplicitous night

pockmarked with insecurity.

I cast pennies for the sake of excavation

but not once have I felt whole.

You are unanswerable without inherent proclivities,

a cold anchor ripping into sunken shores.

I bare the tragedies of your untimely conception.

Without you there is only silence.

I have come to understand myself by your terms.

I think I even become you at times,

the chisel of my tongue shaving off

bits of uneven dialogue.

Is my presence not enough

must you also undress me?

Must you taste the perils and parallels?

Must you break what you cannot mend?

From the same heartless womb,

my unbirthable sister, my nemesis,

my shroud and dagger,

what would I be if not your puppet?

If not for darkness I might well be empty.

Can one ever rise above

the ravages of nature and nurture?

Should I wear my mother’s face?

What of my father, is it his mouth

that I lie die in when I chance to sleep?

Must I guard against all possibility,

those traces which I know to be filth?

Is there even a person underneath?

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13 responses to “Defect

  1. I loved the strength and tone of this part:”Is my presence not enough

    must you also undress me?

    Must you taste the perils and parallels?

    Must you break what you cannot mend?”

  2. I love these lines:
    “You are a long, duplicitous night”
    “You are unanswerable without inherent proclivities”
    “I bare the tragedies of your untimely conception.
    Without you there is only silence.
    I have come to understand myself by your terms.”
    “the chisel of my tongue shaving off
    bits of uneven dialogue.
    Is my presence not enough
    must you also undress me?”

    You are so cool.

  3. In my family It always confused me when I fought with a sibling. The older I became the longer the separation and hurt feelings lasted. When we were children it was forgotten within minutes of the altercation. If we only had that childlike behavior throughout our lives.. I could see 10 times the fights but with 10 times the forgiveness and love between us. Again it’s that damned retrospect that tries to settle a perfectly good feud.

    • My daughter is 8, children’s emotions are strong but often fleeting. She can be mad at a friend one minute and the next they are playing happily together. They are quick to forgive and we could definitely learn from that

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