We want most what we already have,
it’s the addiction within the addiction,
the enigma draped in ostrich feathers.
Denial through rigorous premeditation,
if I subtract my faults, I in turn am less.
From one grave to the next,
we shamble hungry and inchoate.
It’s Sisyphus all over again,
the need for redundancies,
the need to need.
All the better to hypnotize you with my friend.
A litany of deceptions, an erosion of hearts
harder and more brittle than the bones that contain them.
Want more, feel less.
Need more, think less.
Your success is a testament to my failure.
Perhaps we should do away with the game altogether
or we could both participate bereft of desire.
The lack of competition has made winning
more important than ever
only now the lessons are lost.
Take away everything but my failures
lest I become more incompetent than I already am.
We don’t want fair, we want the balance in our favor,
to be the exception in exceptional.
Take my life at your own risk,
become me, endure with me
the long, effervescent winter.