There is a lot going on right now and I don’t even know where to begin this update!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the eye doctor. I am nervous. Since I moved to Sweden I have noticed a marked decrease in my vision so we are looking at about a 5 year period here. I am not 100% sure if these numbers are accurate I think so obviously or I wouldn’t share them.

First Exam (vision pretty good)

L 20/40

R 20/25

Second Exam (perhaps 2 years later)

L 20/200

R 20/40

Emergency Eye doctor visit

I had noticed some concerning greyness in my visual field. There was a lot of weird shaking going on and my eyes felt very dry. At this time my eyes were so bad I couldn’t even read the E! I had severe eye exhaustion and I was told to wait, rest my eyes and then schedule another exam.

Third Exam

L 20/400

R I am not sure I can’t remember

Anyhow this continuous (and to my mind sizable) drop has started to make me paranoid. I am now entering a phase of eye exhaustion and that is why I am not really online right now because I have an appointment coming up. I believe my vision has decreased. Everything is greyish. I need tremendous amounts of light to see (light doesn’t hit my eyes properly) and I am very dependent on my glasses. I used to hate wearing glasses but I am feeling quite insecure without them now. Poor vision is a common issue in my family but I never had any significant issue till my late 20s (I mean except having lazy, crossed eyes). Now it is just going so fast, it is freaking me out and I can’t help but remember an eye doctor when I was 5 saying I could possibly go blind in my adult years. I hope I am remembering these numbers wrong. I really do because with drops like these I can’t keep this up long. What happens as it gets worse? Like what does the world even look like? Anyway I am feeling like a hypochondriac now.

Briefly because my eyes are too tired.

I have an appointment to meet with a woman for job training, obviously I have to impress if she is to take me on. Unfortunately I also have an appointment with the doctor to see if they got all the abnormal cells on my cervix on the same fucking day! Stressed. A little yes.