My voice has the power to disembowel
and I have used her, at times, as a weapon
though she has never served to avenge me.
–
The mass of your web impinges
upon my meager thread and we grow together,
spinning until our seams match.
–
The vertigo of my youth fills me with weeping
and I can think of nothing that would
account for this shrill blue sky and my terrible feelings.
–
Being blind for the people, by the people
I agree to adhere to the madness we have collectively chosen
though I do not know why I have chosen it
when I fought so long and hard against it.
–
My heart insists that there has been a betrayal,
that I am not fit to govern her though she is forever
in my keeping. She collides with me like a drum,
membranes drooling, I have denied her everything.
–
She wants space but I cannot give it to her.
Sometimes I remember myself as a child
and I wonder if perhaps we liked each other more
but in reality we liked each other less.
–
Until I am safe I imagine it is better not to feel.
We are never safe and I continue to feel
with fanatical precision all that is on offer.
mindlovemisery 