Paradelle (fail) and Writing Prompt #129 “NoEnd House Part 8″

NoEnd5

My heart is a shipwreck wasting,

Held in dimensions too deep to dwell.

The meniscus of your shadow

Tethers me to habitually stormy seas.

The crunch of bone and my organs flattened,

There is no escaping the ghost

Of what we were and could never be.

The pitcher stands just as it did

Before in the center of the table

But the sunflowers have all been slain.

What parallel is this that

I should die for want of love

When once I had so much to give?

There is no method to my delirium

No apology which has not been spoken,

No words that could alter these heroic constellations

For all that was is spent and there is

No knowing now to whom or what I speak.

Love is so delicious, it spoils you.

When it exists there is no time

No before or after, only a door

Held ajar and a terrible curiosity

For what dwells within.

I have searched your darkest reaches,

Those rooms like extinguished fireplaces

In which your phoenixes gathered but ceased to rise.

OctPoWriMo

I attempted the paradelle many times but was unsuccessful and unsatisfied with the results. I don’t like the repetitiveness of the form and while the puzzle part intrigues me it had the effect of strangling my muse. Instead I used all the other cues and inspirations provided in the prompt. It was hard to switch gears and even though I stopped writing with forms I still felt the same constrictive energies at work.

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19 responses to “Paradelle (fail) and Writing Prompt #129 “NoEnd House Part 8″

  1. This is knock-me-over good, Yves–who cares about structured forms when you can write lines like these. For some reason, the line “sunflowers have all been slain” sticks with me…

  2. This is explosive perfection. I agree about the sunflower line. Also, some really fine philosophy woven throughout. That longing we all have for that which will never be, that desperate un-sating. It’s the WORST to be deep and smart. It’s awful to just know that nothing fulfilling is ever going to come. This is it. Day after day after day, grasping at purpose and at joy, trying so desperately to live a worthwhile life, especially as a parent, only to end and begin each day with that painful certainty that we are empty … forever.

    To me, the part about not knowing to whom you’re talking is profoundly effective. We end up in this place where we feel completely alone and the thing we’re craving, whatever that plug for our hole might be, we’re talking to it as an entity — something floating beyond our grasp, almost taunting us. “You can’t have me. Na na na na na.” Tongue sticking out and everything. It could be anything; love, understanding, wisdom, career, family (if you don’t have one). There are a million something that we all wish we could have, but we just can’t. And once we get them, we realize that’s not really what we wanted anyway. But it’s the essence of fulfillment and contentment itself that we want. And we feel like something is wrong with us if we can’t hold it right where we are. Especially when we have so much.

    • You make some very good points in this especially about wanting something and finding out only once you’ve acquired/achieved it that you remain un-satiated. I think that it what keeps us striving. I also think one of the things missing from our relationship with ourselves is trust we really don’t take to heart the promises we make to ourselves. Thanks so much!

  3. Despite your despising the form – which – ha! gives me a headache just looking at the instructions – seriously …. I think your attempts yield really interesting results – stylistically.

    Your thoughts are more restricted by the parameters indicated – but the weight of them are just as “heavy” and inspired as when you free-verse. It all just comes out “sounding” differently – which isn’t a bad thing at all Yves 😉

    But I have to say – I could literally “read the tension” in this piece – and I refer not the images you created with words – but your sense of restriction is “evident” to me – as a feeling. I think you probably were “releasing it in chains binding” as you wrote this when already under great stress and pressure … so maybe one day … who knows …. you might be inspired or inclined to just let the words fall into their own as they wish to fit the structure …. or not XD

    Either way … it’s all good Yves 🙂

    • You could tell I didn’t like it, where is my subtlety? ;-P I do think it is good to branch out try new things experiment with various styles. Which gives me an idea.

      You get me so well there is not much I can hide from you lol Thanks so much. I fought haiku for years and eventually I was able to write haiku. I am very stubborn so it can take a long time to get past my initial resistance. You should have seen me when I first tried the elliptical at the gym not pretty.

      • roflmao @ your comment about the elliptical ….. sorry ….. but that was completely unexpected!

  4. “I have searched your darkest reaches,

    Those rooms like extinguished fireplaces

    In which your phoenixes gathered but ceased to rise.”

    One can only search those dark reaches in another if the other allows. And yet some times we can see past the limits others attempt to place on themselves – hiding sometimes from pain and other times like cowards. And yet even if I am not liking a particular person at the moment… going through a tough spell with a family member…I can only hope that their phoenix can rise – even if I am no longer in their picture.

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