Baldybeard contacted me with an idea for an experiment. I would write a poem and then he would write the exact same poem (more or less) only he would write it using his own words and in his own style. Likewise I would rework one of his poems in my style. We decided to write to the Kenopsia Prompt so that we were using the same theme. This was tough I am not going to lie. Baldybeard and I have very different styles. His words are clear and concise. Whereas I tend toward rambling abstraction. In doing this I realized I use a lot pronouns. I also tend to focus on emotions and ambiance rather than concrete details. Baldybeard is good with concrete details and internal dialogue, his characters are realistic whereas I tend to exaggerate and romanticize. Anyhoo this was very surreal and a good learning experience. I actually thought of doing this at MLMM as a challenge but I had to try it first myself. Are you guys willing to swap poems with each other?
Here is the first half of the experiment for the 2nd half (where I rework his poem) visit Baldybeard’s Blog here
There are some silences
Which hang like predatory silk,
Invisible without contact.
Whole conversations conducted
Without the risk of contamination.
I swallow my breath,
Voice swelling, an avalanche of stars.
Once spent I’ll never retrieve this horror.
I stew in vacancy, in the creases
Of overlapping corridors.
I bask in the obsolete
In the postures of civility
Swept aside and reformed
In angles that defy necessity.
Shadows without companion
Defend controversial ruins,
Ruins that remind one
Of just how inhuman,
Humans can seem.
Baldybeard’s Version Same Poem (he did an amazing job!!!)
affixed like predatory silk
visible only to touch
conference in confidence
smooth without sound
I swallow my breath – suffocating – breath demands release
disseminated air grasped in vain
I seek solace in these empty halls
my fondness for the outmoded
civility transmuted according to fashion
forgotten and left to rot
Shadows of ghost
profess this place
ruins of dehumanization