Wordle #140

40

No one exits this love intact,

A means that pulverizes

All that would follow.

I am undone in the skeins

Of your bellicose poems

Still I attend, flying

With the force of eternity.

The shuttle came late

Another level of hell

Sought and overtaken,

Another star shaved down

To a less consequential flesh.

I roll your heart under my palm

Just enough heat to instigate.

A spider’s eyes, cinnamon spun

Spill from every echo

What could be more clear

Than a fool’s devotion?

I have only time for you,

To listen, to melt, to stutter

With the force of your attritional lips.

I paint my wrists with your initials,

My eyelids with your silhouette

The pith of your mischievous smile,

The mercy of my teeth as they trip

Over these catgut margins

Possession makes no difference

When together we are blessed.

*

Lately I have been struggling with writing, not for lack of desire but just old-fashioned stress. When I get too stressed and  have a lot to do I often experience some emotional blockages. This has nothing to do with the poem I am just saying how I am feeling at the moment.

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19 responses to “Wordle #140

  1. I’m totally blown away, Yves! Every line/phrase burns as it flies, so it’s hard to choose a fave, but–it’s so true that no one exits love intact; a fool’s devotion–been there, remain there; the 2 lines about painting wrists and eyelids may be my very fave forever. And thank you, thank you–for telling us how you feel at the moment; I LIKE that–not that you’re stressed, but the gut-level authenticity. Way to Go.

  2. Sometimes the words are harder to arrange – because there is too much going on. And in other moments, despite too much going on, it flows. One can never be quite sure what will come.

    I hope you manage to find some “down time” – in whatever way it comes to help you feel better.

    As for the poem – such intense language and imagery – strong metaphors, none the less. Even when you are struggling with the words – there is strength, beauty and provocation in them. And in this piece, a certain wistfulness.

  3. Does anyone leave love intact.? No, I dont think so.
    Undone in the skeins is a cool line too, as for me it speaks of time as well.
    Love the heart in that last stanza, the opening lines tie really well to possession, and when it is mutually submissive – yeah, its a pretty amazing thing.

  4. I am so excited over this poem and eager to pass it on to a friend of mine. To me, this is such a spot-on description of becoming a mother. The way it blesses the mess out of you but also rips your heart out, especially when they get themselves into trouble.

    My friend is going through some rough stuff with her grown children. I think that’s when it’s the hardest: when they’re adults and can really make their own choices. Seriously, parenting frustrations can just about make you suicidal! That part about writing their initials on your wrists … wow, that is so powerful. I mean, what is motherhood if not etching your child’s being into your own skin?! It’s hurts so much, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. They nearly destroy you, but at the same time, they MAKE you. Goodness, my firstborn has gutted me. But until I had her, I really didn’t have a purpose, an identity I cared to hold onto. But when I got pregnant with her, I totally revamped myself into a woman who could be a good mother for her.

    And all the cinnamon spider and attrition lips stuff … that is SO perfect. My daughter knows how to work it, girl. Those eyes. The corners of her mischievous lips. Yeah, totally spot on. She’s such a naughty little spider, but she can melt me with one glance. She’s just as smart as I am, and it makes me so proud. I cut her a little extra slack because I know what she has to deal with, carrying that heavy brain around. People don’t realize how hard it can be to manage!

    Anyway, sorry I kind of got carried away here. But goodness, this is an excellent poem. I enjoyed it immensely.

    • Thank you so much! Your comment is absolutely gorgeous and describes motherhood brilliantly. My daughter is 7 now and some days it feels like she is growing up so fast and that she might be missing out on childhood joys in her rush for maturity and other times she seems well her age haha (when having a tantrum about not wanting to take a shower like this morning she seems younger). We are too much alike except one crucial and challenging difference she is very social/popular and I have more of the shy awkward loner thing going. She needs to be surrounded with people and activity and my husband and I would rather not (don’t get me wrong I like doing things but not so much with crowds) lol She definitely pushes me out of my comfort zone which is good but she is so full on all the time. We are both stubborn and we seem to provoke each other without even trying. I waited for a while before having children till I was 26 and had been married for several years (since I was 19). I knew the moment I got pregnant it was a girl and that I wasn’t going to have other children. I just knew she was the one. Technically I am still reproductively capable of having more children (but I am on birth control for Menorrhagia and have no such plans). I have changed a lot since having a child in good ways, in bad ways, and in some ways not nearly as much as I’d hoped. I love her to bits even though she drives me barmy and will likely continue to do so into the foreseeable future (if I am so lucky) lol. Neither my husband or I were popular kids and I admit I am scared the teenage years! But she’s 7 now so I still get snuggles and funny movies and I want to savor that!

      How old are your children?

      • ” I love her to bits even though she drives me barmy” Exactly!

        I’m not sure which is harder to work with: the differences or the similarities. The latter, I believe. Each of my kids has me oozing out their eyes, but in different ways. It’s rather fascinating. You would love having lots of kids just to be able to study them and their connections to you. The psychology of it, you know. I basically have a long-term social science experiment set up in my home. 🙂

        I have four … three daughters and then my baby boy. My girls are 12, 7, and 5. And my son will be a year and a half next month. Only one child was planned. 😛 My second. I always joke about my extreme fertility, saying that I could get pregnant just by being looked at hard. 🙂 I’ve all tied up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my body miraculously made another baby. My body was made for bearing children. I do not handle it well, but I made tough, smart, gorgeous babies. So I can really feel all my health being drained out of me and into them when I’m pregnant. And I give it, all of me, freely, so that they can thrive. Like I’ve said before, my life is worthless to me. So I offer it to others completely. I do not exist; I am here to feed others, and to do it well. Then I will quietly walk backwards into the woods, climb into a tree, hug a beehive, and die. No one will notice. I’ll make sure of it.

      • Haha I can totally see that. It is scary how similar they can be to us. My daughter and I seem to always be in the same mood. I was only pregnant once when I decided to get pregnant and then it happened first try. I wasn’t always on the birth control I started a few years ago because of the periods getting so out of hand. They were happening every 2 weeks and lasting for 2 weeks and they were so heavy I could leave the house on the worst days. I am not sure how fertile I am given the issues I have had and my husband’s accident (hit with a car in the nuts when he was 13, nearly lost them) but it worked out. I had a lot of problems with pregnancy as well anemia and potassium deficiency for starters. I had the worst muscle spasms cramps joint pains when I was pregnant, in fact my first symptom was severe pain in my knee, the pain was so bad I vomited and lost consciousness. After having her I had to be hospitalized because I woke up one morning completely unable to walk. My body just fell apart and I don’t think I could do it again considering how long it took me to recover both mentally and physically. I am so glad she is here and she is healthy. She was a very strong baby, very alert. You deserve to be loved and cared for as well.

  5. Pingback: SPIDER MOTHER | WEALTH of RUINS·

  6. I can’t tell you how much I love the part that goes a little something like this: “Yeah, my husband got hit by a car, in the nuts. But it all worked out.”

    LOL. He would kill me, but I am totally cracking up over the way you worded/described it. 🙂

    That is such an awful feeling … when your body seems like it’s fighting against you, against your well being. Like it’s betrayed you. I got SO sick this last time around. Something about him being a boy seemed to make things far worse than when I was pregnant with all of my girls. All of my pregnancies were rough, but he was by far the hardest on me. I’m glad it’s over with! Now we can just focus on the fun stuff. 🙂

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