If my heart was
A spare key
The locks that defend
Your penitence
Would not revolve.
To remember you
Is to forget the mien
Of my ambivalence.
I cannot alter
A single thread
Even though the attempt
Extends deep into
My sacred complex.
A souvenir,
Your smile is only
Beautiful on display
Wedged between my teeth
It looks oddly cynical.
There’s not enough beauty
In you to compensate
For the beauty
Blocked in the crux
Of your ongoing trial
I wish guilt were a virtue
That heaven might not be
So quick to judge.
Traffic begs in the fever
Of a belated dawn
A casual seance
A kiss with hydrogen breath
As passive as stones
We suck on chapped lips
In the frigid mantel
Of a clinically negligible aurora
We have ruined everything.
*
I have been thinking a lot about the inability to forgive oneself and the consequences. About how we “create” our own hells.
For
http://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/wordle-38-december-8-2014/
mindlovemisery 
In creating our own hells we also have the ability to create our own versions of heaven if we are able to see ourselves as lovable creatures. That of course is always the question to consider, can one love one self, for if not who then might? You have given me much to think about Yves, well done.
Thank you Michael and you are absolutely right, though I find it very difficult to forgive myself
Oh so true. We do create our own hells – how well I know. Beautiful!
Thanks PJ I hope you are enjoying your holidays =)
Thank you!! So good to hear from you. I hope you are enjoying your holidays to and are nice and warm and snug in your beautiful new home. 🙂
It is very cold outside right now, snow as well but inside is wonderful
I think a lot about that too, Yves. There’s so much I wish I could forgive myself for, but it seems as if I’m often drawn to self flagellation. Why, I don’t know. Our own private hells indeed.
Me too Tony, me too
It could unwittingly occur but still just as hellish to unravel. Could relate to this often times. But as long as these were not material one should not be too worried. Great lines Yves!
Hank
Thank you so much Hank
Btw I am having difficulty leaving comments to your blog
Sometimes it is best not to have any mirrors if all they do is cause grief. Some traditions for the period of mourning, have all reflective surfaces covered. One should be allowed to mourn the passing of an old self. Renewal and reinvention allows for a fresh breath and the creation of all that is the opposite of disillusionment and discomfort.
Keep building with light, use forgiveness as a tool, not as a crutch.
Hone the best that is into the best that will be.
Thank you Jules for your words of wisdom
An interesting study you’ve done here Yves of the incapacity of being able to forgive .. oneself or even others … that creates such a toxic situation. A moving poem.
It does indeed Georgia, thank you for stopping by!
My pleasure … a great read.
we in many ways create our own hells…
forgiving oneself is one of the hardest things to do
why are we so hard on ourselves…
I have no idea Brian
I am so behind on my reading, and I have missed your words. Beautiful. I love these lines, “Traffic begs in the fever
Of a belated dawn”
Awww thank you Laura XD
We forgive transgressions of others, but never our own. A nightmare, a hell we plunge ourselves into.
Absolutely forgiving oneself is very hard indeed
I’m working on forgiveness. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do.
I can understand that, I haven’t managed to forgive myself but I am trying
you’ve stitched together a heavy and intensely mired atmosphere with words in this piece, and if this was your intent: it’s wonderfully done!
Oh wow thank you so much!