A Nightmare in White

Week 34

A thelemic heart never

Measures its worth.

Apron tethered

I reach into the tiff,

Into the great maw

Of my gluttonous chest

Peeling the leaves from my flesh,

A brittle semi vertebrate tribe

Of death-mongers

Each one hangs, festooned to the air

Like a shipwreck held

Horizontal in a glass bottle,

My beautiful messengers

My dark companions

Is the grave so near?

 

Autumn licks my hands,

Her jagged breath

Does not sterilize me,

Does not steady

The flow of blood,

The gooey outpourings

Of my clinical nostalgia.

My weathered brow chokes,

Closes in on the third eye

You will find no wisdom

In my words today.

Winter creeps in and with her

The turnings of sleep.

Oh nightmare

You shall have me soon enough!

Pray thee one more day

Amongst the living.

*
I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (I say this even though I have Depression year round but it gets much worse in the winter)  and Swedish winters are very very long and very very dark so I am not looking forward to that. This Wordle was meant to be quite positive I was thinking of children fighting over fresh baked cookies when I created it but when I wrote my own entry well it didn’t turn out that way.

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18 responses to “A Nightmare in White

  1. A very heavy feeling of dread. I know the feeling of almost panic at the coming winter so I hope your SAD doesn’t becoming debilitating to your creative writing – keep lots of lights on : )

    • I have recently been wondering that myself and then I tried to think of all the people I know writers and not and how many had Depression or at least had experienced a serious bout at some point in their lives and I realized I didn’t know anyone who has not been Depressed. I think it might be our lifestyles, we have gotten too far from the natural world, the pursuit of luxury, comfort, and yes even happiness might be making us miserable

  2. I guess your mind translates ideas different when you live with shadows within. But it does create beautiful wriitng.

  3. “Peeling the leaves from my flesh,
    A brittle semi vertebrate tribe”

    “Autumn licks my hands,
    Her jagged breath”

    I really like these lines.

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