Incensed

3 Words

The first incision was effortless,

The second like stirring

Ash within fossilized amber.

Compatibility is only as deep

As the intentions by which

The union is first conceived.

I will never remove you,

Those diligent cells may

Just as well be my own.

Malignancy feels beautiful

Before it starts

The intensity, the enormity

Like some grand irrevocable truth.

 

My incensed heart skids

Under your watch it constructs

Its meager triumphs, its weedy castles

Cut from the shadows of carnations

Your damp eyes echo piteously

Knuckles cast as stones

Into my sly silhouette

As it slithers over paper thin walls

Everyone knows that we hate

Each other, that we eat

From the same plates

And wipe our hands

On each other’s clothes.

 

You who are, as volatile

And unnecessary as tonsils

Have taken now my voice

I sit in silence, seething

Wondering where the pain enters

Is it the vertical smile

Thrust into my back?

Is it that smile that doubts

Your sincerity?

I know that you will stay

Because tombstones remain

Wherever they are placed.

*

For those of you who have ventured into my archives you might recognize a line in this poem but aside from that line I have rewritten this poem completely. The topic isn’t even the same exactly but I did keep the 3 Wordle words contained in the original: incensed, skid, damp. Speaking of Wordles though this challenge expired years ago you are welcome to use my graphic and link up entries to my blog if you are feeling inspired.

 

When I was young and just starting with poetry I was very much influenced by Rimbaud’s style. When I gave up writing for several years and resumed it with this blog I didn’t really have my own voice. I had no idea who I was as a writer or even as a person. A lot of my early blog poems, seem very generic to me now (the original of this poem for example). Some poems I keep largely intact when editing. Sometimes I like the subject of a poem but feel the writing itself is too cliche, ornate or whatever. Sometimes I like certain lines but feel that the message wasn’t clear or that I didn’t venture deep enough. Some day I hope to create a very beautiful blog, right now I still cringe when I think of people reading my earlier stuff. It’s not all bad of course there are some poems that did turn out to have a lot of feeling in them but I think you can understand where I am coming from just the same 😛 This poem is fictional I really wanted to capture those words.

 

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16 responses to “Incensed

  1. It is tough to capture the full imagery you portray with your words and my mind races when I read your writing. A racing mind is always good. This is beautiful writing.
    I feel the same way for most of my own poems. Guess what we’ll always feel that way, that’s the aftereffect of getting mature. 🙂

  2. really an interesting poem…the smile thrust in my back is cool imagery…makes me think of the smile as a knife which opens some interesting contrasts…have never really read rimbaud beyond just a few verses…

  3. This is an amazing piece – and even if it is a re-write – years later – I think it only reinforces the idea that all that we create – ALL – has purpose and value – because is anything ever truly done? There is always room to re-work and re-visit – but to be inspired and create in new fashions.

    This is a really wonderful piece – and it is inspiring. Great write Yves 🙂

  4. I’ve said it any times before, but it’ll never get old – your writing is so unique, so creative, so powerful, so deserving of recognition. The more you write, the more your style evolves.
    In my opinion, you already have a beautiful blog, Yves. You also have a quality, and beautifully produced book. I wish I had waited a little longer before I published my first, because I’m so disappointed. But, I have never shied away from failure, and it all adds up to good experience. I will be using your book (in terms of quality and visual creativity) as a reference point next time around. Thought I should let you know 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragements they mean so much to me!

      Oloriel did an amazing job on the cover (front/back everything) and Sam did an amazing job on the inside of the book (and with the E-Book), both professional and unique. Melanie did a great job editing as well she didn’t alter my poems and kept the grammar minimalist which is my preference in poetry. Aesthetically I was very pleased with how it turned out but I was disappointed with some of my work, I felt like I let myself down with some of the poems I selected, The quality of the content in your book was outstanding, amazing poetry, professional quality why you have trouble finding a publisher I cannot imagine your work is top notch!

  5. It’s a privilege to follow your progress, Yves. As a poet, you’re so much more prolific than I, and I think it’s because of that constant writing that you keep improving in leaps and bounds (although I do think your work was already pretty amazing to begin with).

  6. Pingback: Skid on Damp | Write Up the Spine·

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