I carry within me a dearth
Pockets full of willful yearnings
Strings as red as dying embers
Pennies the color of jilted love
I could barter but potential
Cannot be exchanged
And who would want
What I alone cannot give?
Ink spills over crippled sheets
Like fleas, like the mutterings
Of a starless vault
I am blind but who above me
Would ever take these hands
Which cannot be cleansed
Their undertakings?
Inertia rusts more readily
Than steel and I have stood
Here weeping longer than
Any man has ever lived
The scent of petrichor
Sours on my breath,
I have swallowed
My share of storms
The tears that dwell the longest
Scathe when unleashed
The cinders on my cheeks
Might be an omen
Of sleepless nights
Still to come
I am a monster but only
In relation to my failings
If I could be anything
That would be enough
But my walls grow higher
With every detour
And my heart is a little
Tighter than it was before
Restraint is a game
That leads to excesses
Of a crueler sort
And I am only human.
If I leave you anything at all
Let it be laughter
*
I know what your thinking another BBQ woman stay out of the forests. I found myself short on time again I am afraid so I ended up with more chicken scratch. I have to go to the school today and try to register myself for Swedish classes, social phobia is a real mood lifter at times like these (sarcasm)
mindlovemisery 