Screen

detalle1

Marcela Bolivar

My authenticity,

Though not imbued by you,

Is recognized by no other

At least not without some

Measure of aversion

I might be prettier

If I had more

Than one expression ,

But a single admission

Could break me entirely

 

There are wolves

Bargaining for flesh

In the rooms of every

Unattended child

Better that you know

The consequence

Of silence

 

I am not worth

My weight in wool

I do not suffer more or less

But if I told you

Half of what I know

I am sure you’d look

The other way

 

Some days it’s just not okay

To remember

But it’s what I’ve forgotten

That dissipates the peace within

Did I create nightmares

Of the prosaic?

Am I just a cemetery flower?

Or did I stand too close

To the Devil

And witness something

I shouldn’t have?

 

Does anyone wish

They could forgive me

But find in my eyes

An inconsolable vacancy?

I wear gloves

Whenever we hold hands

So that our identities

Won’t collide

Am I alone again

Or just screening?

*

Encase you wonder about the poem it goes back and forth from childhood to adulthood relationship issues that result from being abused.

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17 responses to “Screen

  1. I absolutely love the way this was written. I am so sorry I have not been around much. Please forgive me. This was an amazing piece to return to. Now that life is evening out, I plan to get here once more. You were missed. This work was actually an answer to prayer for me in some ways. I thank you for it. Hugs!!!!!

      • My brain apparently decided to go on vacation–hoping it went somewhere tropical. Still waiting for a postcard. 🙂

        I am ok. Just working out “stuff” which renders me quite quiet and introspective at times. I know you know what that is like. Thanks for understanding. Big hugs and much love sent your way!!

  2. I like “Did I create nightmares of the prosaic?/Am I just a cemetery flower?” but wonder
    did she mean prosaic as ‘commonplace’ or “prose y’?did she create nightmares ‘from’ the prosaic, or ‘for’? I’ve enjoyed looking through & reading yr work/thanx

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