“Where did you get that red vampire skull?” I sit up in bed and direct my quizzical gaze to the bookshelf of pristine craniums that has replaced our closet. “It’s not a vampire skull…” I offer nonchalantly consumed by a memory that bares no speculation on the procurement of the aforementioned item. I met the “vampire” in question during my time at University. He used to eat my sandwiches, just enough, and in such a vile manner that the remainder could never be salvaged. In those days I used to smuggle Bamse videos into the classroom. Videos were strictly prohibited at University and if a video was found the supervising teacher received a hefty penalty. Oh how my teachers pleaded with me to stop bringing children’s films to class but everyday without fail there I was inexplicably holding another one of those obnoxious videos.
The sound of scurrying feet shakes me free of my musings. It’s Christmas and both Sam and Isadora are impatiently waiting for me to get out of bed. I follow them into a huge snow-covered courtyard behind our home. The courtyard is walled in and supports a high and very much intact ceiling. How did the snow get inside? A snow shoveling mishap? A festive consideration? The ceiling begins to whir and I look up noticing for the first time an elaborate network of pulleys and rails lining the ceiling. There is an oversized cartoonish tree suspended dead center. Sam’s mother has joined us now and confesses that she went a bit overboard with the decorations. That is an understatement the whole courtyard is something out of a histrionic Christmas catalog. The tree begins to move, zipping around the track and dipping down perilously close to our heads. The tree looks imposingly solid, a collision would likely kill us.
“Person #1 that person being Isadora…will receive a playdate with her friends at Busfabriken…” The tree announces triumphantly. My daughter runs off, presumably to claim her prize but I cannot tear myself away from the Godtree. “Person #3 that person being Sam…will have his apartment converted into a ski resort for two weeks…” What a crummy gift! Where the hell are we going to stay for the next two weeks? Neither of us can ski. I try to imagine my tiny apartment filled with snow and skiers navigating our furniture but it is just too absurd. At least there will be hot chocolate. “Person #2 That person being Yves…will receive a puppy…” I look excitedly around for my little bundle of joy but in the hanging basket I see only a tortoise shelled laptop (maybe the voice is coming from the computer?). Turning to the shed I think perhaps that the animal is inside waiting so I head off in that direction without a second thought.
“The moose is back!” Sam screams out and I turn around to see the beast gearing up in the distance. Hooves pummeling the frozen floor, eyes narrowed viciously. If there ever was a puppy the poor dear is gone now. I take off running struggling through drifts of meticulously applied snow.
(A late entry but when asked to recount a whacky dream I drew a complete blank even though I have had countless nonsensical dreams in my time. Last night I had the above dream and thought it would be fun to share :-P)
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