I apologize for all the reblogging and feel I owe you some explanation for it
So here goes
1) My laptop keeps losing power (despite being plugged in) and turning itself off. It’s not that old by my standards but it doesn’t seem long for this world. When left on it gets really hot.
2) I have been unusually busy yesterday Isadora had her graduation (from kindergarten), we had a celebration, went to lunch, I took her to get a haircut, to the library, later we went to grand opening of a store on top of my usual stuff all my days seem to be packed lately and I usually do my email before I write which has been piling up since I am away
3) Lastly and probably most importantly. I have been to a few therapy sessions and my guard is dangerously high. I’m blocking my thoughts and feelings even from myself at the moment. My therapist made a comment on how calm I appear outwardly no matter how difficult the memory I am sharing and the last session was on my dad. The price of that calm is basically that I turn all those emotions on myself like a weapon really. I am in intense physical pain and can barely stand to be in any position too long. Multiple pinched nerves, subluxations, extreme muscular tension, and my right hip is out of place. The manifestation of my emotional state I suppose