Paul Shanghai

I do not remember my birth

I’ve only the gist of it

The inconvenience

Of my first audible scream

I have never seen scars

Such as those you bare mother

The deep red and purple gashes

Spread over your abdomen

As if I’d clawed my way

Through your flesh

Fully grown and monstrous

How does one survive such wounds?

I have murdered you surely

The banshee before me now

Like the sclera of an epileptic eye

(We’re quite the pair mother)


I mentioned this on Curious Flowers but I started a project to write 1 poem for every year of my life. I can’t say that I will complete the project. I realize what a grim undertaking it might be.


21 thoughts on “Birth

  1. Daring post! I think mothers in all instances will not feel the pain post delivery. The joy of hearing the wailings are music to the ears. Nicely mlm!


    1. Thanks Hank! My mom really did not want children and suffered severe Post Partum. She wanted me to die which is hard to admit and luckily no longer the case. She told me when I was going to have Isadora that birth was the most selfish time of your life. I designed my birth plan around Isadora’s comfort not my own and all I thought about while giving birth was my daughter so I never really understood what she meant by it. Usually I am selfish if I am honest but during the birth I was thinking of someone else more than myself.

    1. I don’t remember the actual event thankfully. My mom didn’t want children and it was painfully obvious when I was little. So I was referring to the psychological impact but also she has the worse stretchmarks I have ever seen it really looks like something tried to force its was through the wall of her stomach. They haven’t faded even slightly.

    1. It is 33 poems for every year of my life. I have written a poem everyday now for more than a year but to write a poem everyday for my whole life well that would be a massive undertaking one I will take a day at a time

      1. it is quite hard overcoming the hurdle the judgement the inner voice that says you can’t do this. I admit I thought my poems would have less passion if I wrote when uninspired but the truth it my writing has actually improved. I had went years writing only occasionally and when fired up and I never improved now I write through everything, now I recognize that so-called writer’s block is a sign of a growth spurt

    1. I was shocked when I read yours not just because of the shared experience but the timing and neither of us knowing anything about what the other was writing we must have been tapped into the very same wavelength. Yours is so much better though, better expressed.

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