Zenith

Artist_in_Love_by_the_surreal_artsArt by: the_surreal_arts

I love the way your smile

Undresses us concurrently

The way your silhouette

Emboldens the moon

And how beneath her

We are simultaneously

Savage and sentimental

*

I cherish you as freedom

The way you endow me

As if an incomparable dream

I crave you as addiction

The release of ether

Inside over-plucked veins

*

If an instrument than a contrabass

If a beast than a man

The first zenith is never enough

To satisfy a requiting greed

So emote me as a symphony

*

last minute write yeeps (for the prompt ooooh)

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36 responses to “Zenith

  1. Beautiful work. I’m not used to the absence of punctuation though. I’m kinda huge on that in my own work. To me, it helps emphasize what parts need to be lingered on and so forth, but I’ve seen other poets use the absence of punctuation is an rhetorical tool. Why did you leave the punctuation out of this poem? Were to trying to convey how at one the narrator is with the object of his/her desire?

    • Thank you =) Generally I keep punctuation to a minimum in my poetry. In this case I did leave it out entirely. I would like to say it was a deliberate choice but it was wholly unconscious. I end up with the strangest omissions and additions in my work. I do proof read extensively but being dyslexic I am afraid I am not catching the errors very effectively.

  2. love love love that image!!! and the poem of course especially that last stanza…contrabass, ah oui, absoluement …playing each string. How do you write so well and raise a family…wow!!

  3. *Insert this into an already overflowing bundle of favourites* – Check! 😀 I am preparing myself for the hairdresser where I sit like an outcast and try to speak so other women can understand me and we don’t sit in awkward 3 hour silence, and in their words: ‘DAT ENDING ❤

    • Awww thank you! Oh no the hairdresser I admit to letting Sam dye and cut my hair just to avoid going. I find it awkward as well, last time I went I blushed so much she thought I had a fever lol

      • Haha, my husband does the same for me 😀 I survived it,but it felt like the longest 3 hours of my life, plus my hair really grew, it was natural gray color down to my nose so everyone was lamenting the dying (for the milionth time!)

  4. some really cool contrasts in this…the freedom/addiction….savage and sentimental…the last stanza really brings this home nicely and with power…

    hows your vertigo?

    • Thank you so much Brian =)

      I am still experiencing vertigo along with extreme muscle tension I am not sure if the tension is the problem or a symptom of trying to keep posture and balance

  5. Oh. Oh. I felt the environment and then found your if/thans to be quite erotic. If one has the dream, why give the other addiction? Both meeting in desire seem so positive to me.

  6. wow, this might be an all time favorite, the economy of words,
    love expressed with such restraint and imagery…and this;

    The way your silhouette
    Emboldens the moon
    And how beneath her
    We are simultaneously
    Savage and sentimental

    is just delicious.

  7. Ergh. These words had a physical effect on me: goosebumps! Well most of your works actually. I definitely love the first part and the last line.

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