I have no resolve
In which to nurture resolutions
Only a starving sense of emergency
That I must not, as always, be overcome
*
I dream but never find within
A consequent sensibility
Both mind and limb abandon
Whenever I am in need
*
I have ambitions but to express
Them in the absence of success
Seems somehow disingenuous
I crave precision and expertise
A sleep which only proceeds
Indefatigable effort
*
I have decided to make lists
With manageable procedures
To advance in ant-like fashion
Mandibles clenched, antenna honed
To the knock of my indomitable pulse
*
In the past I have always been extraordinarily ambitious (delusional?) in my resolutions. No matter what I may have replied on inquiry, in my mind I was going to achieve some impossible feat of self-reconstruction. Self-improvement always meant tearing down the current constructs whatever the cost to my self-esteem/mental health. I want to do everything all at once, to become everything all at once. So this year it’s all about breaking things down into simple achievable goals. I wrote more about this in my journal
http://curiousflowers.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/new-years-resolutions/
mindlovemisery 