Not wanting to walk in her shadow the youth remained at the bar. Silence had fated him to a late night engagement for he could not in good conscious leave the stranger waiting. He would not tell his parents of the event, the moment was too exceptional to share. He did not want for their sensible well-meaning advice, he wanted for his own privacy. He wanted for a moment unmeasured and unmonitored so that he might find to which pole his heart was partial.
When he arrived home his mother was mopping the living room floor. She did not wait blatantly, watching the clock but patiently with her eyes on the floor. “Welcome home…” She said looking up and there was no concealing her relief even though she managed to convey it entirely through nuance. “I stopped at the Smoothie Bar…” He explained closing the door softly behind him. Sympathetic brown eyes regarded him, the same eyes which he himself found on reflection. Such eyes were never angry.
“You needed time to yourself?” She asked and he nodded guiltily. How was it that she always understood? “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked and he didn’t really. “How do you it? The same thing day after day?” He asked watching her cautiously. He wanted the words he knew she could not give, those words that would alter his reckless course and satisfy wholly his existence. “With a smile and sometimes through gritted teeth…” She admitted and he could say no more for he did not wish to seem ungrateful. “I’ll get started on my chores….” He said and though she could sense the exhaustion in his voice it was his resolve she humored. “Moods are like weather…the shadows will pass…no matter how long the night….the light exists comorbid….” Even in death light was a steadfast guide, he knew her words and understood in them truth. Intellectually. Emotionally he hungered and physically he was all but empty. It was the darkness he now pleaded, midnight could not arrive soon enough.
For those just jumping in this is my attempt to recount a dream I had recently