A viperous cape,
This stale room
With its chalky air
In the dark,
I wait for furious shades
A pacifist, I refuse
To partake in any war
For which I
Do not occupy
(I don’t self-harm so I was a little surprised that I wrote this. I think it might have to do with my stress level which is very high at the moment. My therapist decided today that she would like to transfer me to a psychiatrist in the hospital. I won’t be hospitalized or anything it is just that they have more resources and can handle patients with greater needs. She thinks my childhood was too traumatic (honestly she seemed scared when I told her not of me but my past really seemed to shock her)? She can’t make diagnoses either should I have something diagnosable. She is very nice and although I understand intellectually it still unnerves me. I mean really unnerves me. I like her and I still find it very challenging and stressful to hit my appointments. A new person eeeekkkkk)
19 thoughts on “Cautiously Violent”
You take care of yourself as best as you can, and hope for the best. Maybe this new doctor could prove very good for you. Best of luck and wishing well and praying for you. Take care my friend and God bless.
I hope so =) Thank you so much for your encouragement
All the best my friend.
Yes, a new person, that can be vexing.
Yep but perhaps it will be better I need a more hands on kind of therapy
Stress is a form of self-harm, so it makes sense that this poem would manifest out of it. I would defer to the clinical judgment of your therapist as it sounds like she is limited in what she is able to offer in terms of treatment. The anticipation can be worse than the reality.
I totally understand her rationale and agree with her decision fully but I am nervous as I have met far more bad doctors than good ones! I do think I need more than simple talk therapy though. I am the introspective sort naturally so I have explored the issues quite deeply on my own, I need some practical hands on assistance as well
Your piece is dark but beautiful. 🙂 I read your note and I was pleased to see you do agree with your therapists decision because a psychiatrist will have better resources for you. I also know there are many bad doctors roaming but have faith that she is helping you find one that will fit you. I know it is easy to tell someone not to stress and really doesn’t work….but have faith. 🙂 Now I am sending you many positive vibes and hugs your way.
Thanks very much Anja (hugs back)
i would listen to your counselor….if they think you could benefit from more tools…all the better…
def a darker tone to this one…the last stanza is very interesting on occupying both sides at the same time….
i hope the stress alleves for you….
Thanks Brian I will listen absolutely
All the best to you, and remember that new person is probably a little scary of meeting you. You are going to be OK, when we grow a little older we have to nurture ourselves, and keep telling yourself, you are going to be OK. Let go of the stress as best you can, it’s probably like a cold, and will go itself in its’ own time.
Thanks Annell for your kindness and encouragements, it helps to think they might be a little scared too because it is a reminder that they are also human
Dark sensibility very evocatively portrayed…a chilling, very effective read!! 🙂 🙂
You are in my prayers every day. I will be praying that this new path will be what you need. Hugs and much love sent your way.
Awww thank you Skye that is incredibly sweet =)