Cautiously Violent


A viperous cape,

This stale room

With its chalky air

Divests resolve

In the dark,

Cautiously violent

I wait for furious shades

To absolve


Carmine is

The consequence

Of silence

A pacifist, I refuse

To partake in any war

For which I

Do not occupy

Both sides



(I don’t self-harm so I was a little surprised that I wrote this. I think it might have to do with my stress level which is very high at the moment. My therapist decided today that she would like to transfer me to a psychiatrist in the hospital. I won’t be hospitalized or anything it is just that they have more resources and can handle patients with greater needs. She thinks my childhood was too traumatic (honestly she seemed scared when I told her not of me but my past really seemed to shock her)? She can’t make diagnoses either should I have something diagnosable. She is very nice and although I understand intellectually it still unnerves me. I mean really unnerves me. I like her and  I still find it very challenging and stressful to hit my appointments. A new person eeeekkkkk)