Minimized

table

His

Voice

Enters

Like venom

Roguish stars plummet

Behind my petulant lashes

Ambitions minimized by a rapacious ego

Ineffectual, my silence

No longer censors

A gripped hand

Detracts

Love

=

(I tried the Dverse Challenge I used 1-1-2-3-5-8-13-8-5-3-2-1 I don’t know I succeeded with this. I found it quite challenging. This is fictional)

31 responses to “Minimized

  1. “Roguish stars plummet

    Behind my petulant lashes” – fantastic imagery. You always seem to make a good balance of the sentiments, even when one sentiment appears to be overwhelming. I loved the strong image that the “gripped hand” line created in my head. I am glad you enjoyed exploring the form 😀

  2. Smashing. In the second last line, if you turned “renounces” into “renounced” to achieve 2 syllables, there would be a perfect fit with the form…if that is what you wanted. But it doesn’t need it because it rocks the way it is. 🙂

  3. Will there ever be a day I just do not LOVE something you write? I am not sure you succeeded in the diverse challenge..only because I have no idea what it was about. lol But you succeeded in reaching in and swiping memories of feelings from me. Especially “his voice enters like venom”. Wow that brought out some feelings inside. WONDERFUL.

  4. ah i felt the grit in this one….the venom voice…and the gripped hand…you did well with the form…and def put emotion into it…

    got your email…i’ll start reviewing it tonight…smiles…

  5. Pingback: Daytime slumber | Fi's Thoughts·

  6. …the truth your character keeps in silence gives her pain…even ego makes it feels okay…soul asks for love…follow in the way it possible for all concerned…nice fibonacci though…:)

  7. I’ll give it twenty-one stars and two thumbs up…I admire your ability to try new forms and end up with a slam dunk.
    PS…I believe your father and I would have been great friends had we grew up together. I guess we can blame that one on our parents.

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