His
Voice
Enters
Like venom
Roguish stars plummet
Behind my petulant lashes
Ambitions minimized by a rapacious ego
Ineffectual, my silence
No longer censors
A gripped hand
Detracts
Love
=
(I tried the Dverse Challenge I used 1-1-2-3-5-8-13-8-5-3-2-1 I don’t know I succeeded with this. I found it quite challenging. This is fictional)
Oh! Not only did you succeed…you excelled. The form is lovely and your words are wonderful 🙂
Awwww thanks Melanie =)
A wonderful! Simplicity that is razor sharp!! 🙂 🙂
Thank you Helen!
“Roguish stars plummet
Behind my petulant lashes” – fantastic imagery. You always seem to make a good balance of the sentiments, even when one sentiment appears to be overwhelming. I loved the strong image that the “gripped hand” line created in my head. I am glad you enjoyed exploring the form 😀
Thank you so much! I always find it challenging to start forms that begin with 1 syllable
Smashing. In the second last line, if you turned “renounces” into “renounced” to achieve 2 syllables, there would be a perfect fit with the form…if that is what you wanted. But it doesn’t need it because it rocks the way it is. 🙂
I haven’t been able to count all day lol
Thank you btw =)
Well done M! Unfortunately some relationships are like this…
Anna :o]
Unfortunately indeed!
Will there ever be a day I just do not LOVE something you write? I am not sure you succeeded in the diverse challenge..only because I have no idea what it was about. lol But you succeeded in reaching in and swiping memories of feelings from me. Especially “his voice enters like venom”. Wow that brought out some feelings inside. WONDERFUL.
Thank you so much Anja =) I am glad to hear that’s in the past and I hope that you are surrounded now with love and encouragement!
I have nothing but love around me. 🙂 past is just where it should be.
That is so awesome to hear =)
No worries. Anyway I used writing to work through it all. 🙂
ah i felt the grit in this one….the venom voice…and the gripped hand…you did well with the form…and def put emotion into it…
got your email…i’ll start reviewing it tonight…smiles…
I am so excited and terrified lol Thank you so much =
Thanks Brian it was a challenging form!
This is really very, very good; so much pain and disappointment is expressed in these words.
Thank you Tony =)
You ‘rocked the form, writing a fibonacci that really packs a punch about a relationship that must be hard to endure.
Thank you Mary! That means a lot =)
MLM, I agree with the others – a strong write, and especially “roguish stars plummet” ~ M
Thank you so much that means a lot t me =)
…the truth your character keeps in silence gives her pain…even ego makes it feels okay…soul asks for love…follow in the way it possible for all concerned…nice fibonacci though…:)
Thanks Irene =)
I’ll give it twenty-one stars and two thumbs up…I admire your ability to try new forms and end up with a slam dunk.
PS…I believe your father and I would have been great friends had we grew up together. I guess we can blame that one on our parents.
Awww thank you Grizz =) Haha maybe you would be
wonderful
Thanks Celestine =)