Milk Thistle


The burlesque sky fades to a

Censured black at the height

Of exposure, words meaningless

On contact. Your breath is hungry,

Implicit, fireless without oxygen

You mean to devour. Your mouth falls

Over mine like a blanket. My scorched

Smile trembles. In your presence my

Lungs ache, stricken by the intensity of

Your marrow-stripping eyes. I love the

Way you diminish me, the way you reduce

Me to volcanic ash, your fingertips spark,

Incite the growl of a primordial awakening,


I am organic, you are spurious, a

Haunting distortion of all that is

Human or humane, you possess me,

Drink the rose from my flesh, leave

Me pale and wasted, you’re volatile

And elusive, I watch you extract

Milk from the mercy of our joined

Souls, pure and white like forgiveness


You slide the grievous flesh away, we’re

Deeper than pretense, deeper than a

Conscientiously arranged corporeal

Syllabary, more abstract than beauty

I like the way you suffocate me, deny,

Through excessive generosity, overrun

My neural highways with your wild lilac

Eccentricities. In your stratosphere, I am

Inching ever closer to ignition, ever closer

To those stars, those muses whose selfless

Sacrifices originate me, you connect me to

That which I would deny, to a world not

Carried on my slopping shoulders, to a world

Not bound or barred by self-hatred. Some

Days I catch myself awake, a wind-adorned

Thistle healing within and without, I touch

The world that you have laid before me naked

And imperfect, the curious evolution of my pain,

Of my seismic denial, sliding into my eager

Mouth like a communion wafer, love tastes like

Nothing, like air, like freedom, spacious, you fill me


Lots of seizures lately which means I am not writing with the use of my brain. I am just plucking debris from outer-space!

I did a reading (the vacuum cleaner sound is only my laptop struggling) I am so tired I probably sound like I am partially stoned lol


Day 30 “Change”


Whew I wasn’t sure I would make it out alive lol This was a challenge as my memory isn’t good with quick recall (I can’t even remember my favorite movie 15 minutes after I watched it) .  My memory is horribly abstract ask me to recall a movie and I will answer something like “It felt yellow…” “The leaves were apple crisp” “I have a spleen full of magma” As you can imagine no one ever knows what the hell I am talking about. Even when I can access a memory the abstract nature makes it unusable! I get lost constantly because I can only recall the most obscure details about a place, I seem to see things no one else notices and to miss all that is obvious. I chose this song because I want to support Sam, to be strong enough to live and love fully.  To not just be more independent but to repay generosity. I want to be needed, necessary, useful.