6hoursold

My proudest moment was giving birth to my daughter!

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My husband was amazing. I had told him before hand that I would likely be very scared, emotional, and in a lot of pain so that the last thing I wanted was people asking me every 5 seconds if I was okay. I wasn’t okay obviously and I really didn’t envision myself wanting to answer questions either lol I told him to just stand beside me, hold my hand if I reached for him, and to just remain calm and above all quiet so I could focus. That is exactly what he did, the nurses kept trying to encourage him to talk more but he went right on not talking like a good boy. I was so proud of him because I know he wanted to do something but giving birth isn’t something he or anyone could do for me. I had to do it. I wanted to do it.

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My doctor was a blessing. I was so scared of having a male doctor but when I moved half-way through my pregnancy I didn’t have many options. I have had some truly horrific experiences with male gynecologists and I have been sexually abused so I was terrified in the beginning. My doctor figured out I had been abused and brought a female in to perform the exams and talk to me so I would feel safer. They kept the exams brief and never did more than necessary. During the delivery he was incredible he followed my birthing plan exactly and listened to every request I made without questioning it, he never spoke to me in a condescending fashion and he never said things like you have to suck it up. He was calm and patient and kept invasive procedures to the bare minimum.

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My daughter she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen naturally! She was so strong/healthy (she had lungs) and alert. She was actually so alert people would stop me in the halls and comment on how they had never seen a newborn with that level of focus, her gaze was mesmerizing. She literally stared the doctor down when he first held her.

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Myself. My mom told me that having a baby would be the most selfish moment of my life but I didn’t want it to be like that. Being born has got to be a terrifying experience (scarier than giving birth) and I wanted to make the experience easier for Isadora. My labor like most first time labors was long. I woke up in the night with cramps and I remembered the doctor had said it will take a long time better to stay at home relax until the cramps get a certain distance apart. I took a bath, tried to go back to sleep, slept some basically tried to keep it Zen. When I felt the time was right (sometime the next morning) I went to the hospital and I was 6 cm along which I stayed for 20 plus hours. Breaking my water did not have an effect, she was pretty reluctant about it and I had to be induced (I wanted to give her time but at a certain point it can be necessary). The actual delivery took me 10 minutes. I was so focused on Isadora, there wasn’t even a self to think about it, it was just bring this little girl safely into the world, be strong because she needs you. I didn’t even scream at anyone lol Contrary to what my mom told me I don’t think I have ever forgotten myself in this way, I didn’t care about anything but this magical little person. Isadora is the only miracle I have ever created, Sam and I made her together and that still blows my mind!

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More pictures of Izzy

CIMG0890DSCN1014CIMG0826IMAG0179image06404Isadora-couch

8 thoughts on “Blog Challenge 17 Proudest Moment

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