You lie in the bottom of an inkwell

Beneath my pen, raped by the

Incoherence of a forgotten exhale


Solidifying like calcium carbonate

In the roof of my mouth. I could never

Say the words to unbind your pain


Every time you cross a room my heart

Follows trapped inside your barbed-wire

Shadow, every step taken, a deeper red


My soul is held together by hypergraphia

And the anamnesis of your mouth swinging

Sideways like a welcoming door. In the days

When there was still hope of consummation

My uncensored dreams never ended badly


Those unspoken words drip through veins

Ironed and painted white, those journals

Where we die nightly, futile in retrospect

But I really did love you, just so you know


(Going through a bit of a rough phase I am trying very hard to tap into my current emotions. Usually I write about experiences years passed, the whole added perspective thing is very useful to me since I tend to get overwhelmed easily. I also have a lot of trouble identifying and sorting the fresh emotions.)


14 thoughts on “Retrospect

  1. The distance and separation is hard to endure! you expressed it well!
    Hop over and read my 55 for Gman,, I am up against something similar-

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