Softened by a whimsical palate and sealed
In vacancy there was a time when shadows
Slipped from that carnivorous aperture, from
The hostile shock of pomegranate within, so
Unlike the soft pastels without. You, father,
With your reptilian eyes have disguised yourself
Well within its darkness, within those closet-dwelling
Fiends in which I came so tenaciously to believe
=
Supernatural, psychological, nightmares
For which I swore you could not be blamed
But I have seen you raven-cloaked in the dead
Of night, cancerous silhouette, dislocating from
The walls to slink invertebrate into my bedroom
=
It was self-preservation that led me to fashion
Monsters on your behalf, better my own madness
Than a sickness capable of unmaking the world
=
I am reading this book that deals with childhood trauma so I find myself writing a bit more darkly
Submission for Magpie Tales
The Mag
mindlovemisery 
def heavy…i worked with abused children and its a surreal world at times….so much pain…and sadly oft entwined with the parents…i wont say they take the blame always or even intentionally at times…but its a messy messy thing…
you give us a sip of that world here…
I wrote Mother over at Carbon which is more on the abuse them. I was one of those children he believed everyone was good but myself, I am still like that I always look inside for whats wrong,, for the source even things completely out of my control. I must think I am supernatural with all the stuff I attribute to myself. My husband was actually the one to help me see it wasn’t my fault what my dad did
A sad legacy to have inherited, but well captured in these lines…
Thank you Jinksy
I don’t know what to say. Nothing I can could do justice to the horror within these lines. Much healing your way.
-Nicole
Thank you so much Nicole your kind words are plenty
Sometimes when you open the door, a fresh breeze will dust away the cobwebs. When it does, I pick them up put them and burn them in a ritual so they cannot return to haunt me. This is a fearsome, but also fearless work. I like the way you empower yourself with your own brand of madness!
I am reading this autobiography and this woman has all this repressed trauma that she has to dig through and I realize as much as I do recall there are obvious blocks. I do not know if I am ready or not to know what’s behind them. A part of me things that knowing might air everything out but I can’t afford to go through a stage of lower functioning so I am not really sure what to do. As I blame myself for everything its more a fear of finding out something gruesome about myself than about someone else
A sad reality for too many. Your second stanza is riveting! Thanks for sharing. You offer hope to so many going through the same thing.
Thank you Laurie you are very kind =)
A terrible reality to have to live. Powerful words.
Thank you Anthony
‘It was self-preservation that led me to fashion monsters on your behalf’ … As soon as I read that line, I felt my heart jerk and immediate kindred with you. I know that pain. I have lived it, too. Your poem is amazing. Thank you.
Thank you so much Nana for your kind words and I am sorry to hear you went through that, absolutely no one should have to
Ah the only way that any of us can get to the light is via the darkness, loved it, thanks
Thanks =)
Painful, powerful, and so well-expressed.
Thank you for opening the door and shining a light on what is (for far too many) the darkest of closets.
“/
Thank you very much Sue
It was self-preservation that led me to fashion
Monsters on your behalf, better my own madness
Than a sickness capable of unmaking the world
Oh MLM – such darkness behind closed doors here, trust and childhood marred – so many hugs you might burst sent your way!
Anna :o]
Hugs back Anna and thank you
Writing it out is cathartic and letting others in helps to put it in perspective. Dark, but so well written.
Thank you so much
The second stanza was a walk on the dark side..I found it deep with meaning…thanks for the explanation as well.
Thank you very much
I have found the Mag to be a safe and supportive venue to express any thoughts and opinions that need a voice. I think the power of the words you have written here are equal to the loudness that ‘Charleston Farmhouse Door’ (prompt) unlocking would make in a silent hallway. So expressive…. I am sending warm wishes your way. Thank you for sharing this.
Oh wow thank you Linda you are s incredibly kind. Thank you so much for visiting and for your lovely words
What goes beyond locked doors so often remains hidden until the psychological scars remind us of the reality. As a teacher I worked with chlldren who were forced to make their own monsters. Powerfully written.
Thank you so much Nell, that must have been so heart-breaking
Self-preservation that let me to fashion monsters on your behalf…powerful stuff…and struck a chord with me…
Thank you so much Tess
Approximately dark.
My kindle is wearing my last nerve. I typed appropriately.
Thanks =)