I have eaten through all our
Memories, a wicked moth
Shadowed by alley-dwelling
Sunflowers. I may not know
To whom you prey but I know
That I am no longer within
Your hypermetropic range
=
On my breath the guilty scent
Of rosemary betrays my espial
Lens, you are a raven, bound
To the witching hour by appetites
That seem to me more deprived than
Depraved. In the closet the dresses
I no longer wear are my scarlet
Letter shame. I gave up much too
Soon on beautiful things, on
Dreams with heliotrope wings
And kisses like impatient skies
=
Whenever you leave you
Unscrew all the light bulbs
And place them in your eyes,
Artificial stars for pink neon fireflies
I cry over nocturnes and chamomile
Tea pulling your black, blond, and
Red hairs out of discarded clothing
Bitter as the juice of a grape fruit
=
(This is fictional)
I gave up much too
Soon on beautiful things…felt line…like the allusions to religeon as well throughout…to who you are preying…the rosary….the unscrewing the lightbulbs to put them in your eyes is a really cool touch in this…
and i like the make over…its different…
Oh wow thank you Brian that is so beautiful =) I was getting bored of the other haha
Hey, there’s so much here to take the breath away. Like brian I was stopped in my tracks by the unscrewing of the light bulbs. Unbelievable you made it sound natural! How do you do that?
Oh wow thank you so much Dave that is so sweet =)
Fictional or not this is beautiful. More deprived than depraved, excellent word use and once again your images stun me; make me pause and stumble as I fumble to remember why I left.
Oh wow thank you very much Scott =)
This is beautifully written
Thank you so much =)
oh my, the last stanza is amazing…i love how well the imagery flows throughout the language of the poem. i reminded of love prematurely abandoned!
Oh wow thank you Stacy
This is absolutely breathtaking! Such a stir of raw emotion which left me in awe of how each line digs deeper and deeper into the soul, simply amazing
Oh wow a beautiful compliment thank you so very much